


Role Play

by sinfuldesire_archivist



Category: Supernatural RPF
Genre: First Time, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2010-03-02
Updated: 2010-06-04
Packaged: 2018-09-03 07:18:44
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 7
Words: 31,820
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8702821
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sinfuldesire_archivist/pseuds/sinfuldesire_archivist
Summary: Season Five ends with a bang - and the Supernatural writers giving the fans what they really want.  The trick now, is for Jensen to rehearse the final scene without actually 'banging' his co-star.  It isn't as easy as it should be...





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Note from the Sinful Desire archivists: this story was originally archived at [Sinful-Desire.org](http://fanlore.org/wiki/Sinful_Desire). To preserve the archive, we began importing its works to the AO3 as an Open Doors-approved project in November 2016. We e-mailed all creators about the move and posted announcements, but may not have reached everyone. If you are (or know) this creator, please contact us using the e-mail address on [Sinful Desire collection profile](http://archiveofourown.org/collections/sinfuldesire/profile).

  


“This is fucking retarded.”  Jensen threw the script as far from him as possible – which was actually only about two feet seeing as how it was a light sheaf of stapled paper.  The pages fluttered lazily to the carpet in a very unsatisfying way, so Jensen slammed his sneakered feet onto the pine coffee table instead.  Better sound effect.  He folded his arms across his chest and scowled.  “ _I’d_ say they’re taking a left turn with the show,” he said, quoting Sera Gamble.  “A left turn right into freakin’ la-la land.”  He stabbed a finger in Jared’s direction.  “No, not la-la land, ‘cause we always live there.  Into _Queer As Folk_ la-la land.”  Another finger stab.  “And I for one didn’t sign up for this shit.”

Jared shrugged and leaned back against the tiny kitchen counter.  “Yeah.  Okay.  But you didn’t ‘not’ sign up for it, either,” he said, sounding way too calm about the whole thing.  He smiled around his beer bottle.  “I mean, we didn’t think to write a no guy on guy clause into our contract, so...”  Then he had the audacity to laugh, his cheeks dimpling up in that sunshiny way of his, like it was the biggest joke in the world.  

That pissed Jensen off even more.  It _wasn’t_ a joke.  In three days they had to...ugh.  “Of course we didn’t think to write a no ‘guy on guy’ clause into the damned contract,” he growled.  “We play brothers for fuck’s sake.”  He took a slug of his own beer before mumbling, “ _Straight brothers_ , thank you very much _.”_

“Guess Lucifer’s not quite as black and white as the Winchesters.”  Jared laughed again.  The dick.  “Look,” he said, taking the four steps necessary to snag a seat on the couch next to Jensen.  “She’s just trying to give the fans what they want.”  

Jensen snorted, not even bothering to dignify _that_ with a response.  Stupid fangirls.  Stupid slash addicts.  Stupid fucking writers.  

“It’ll be two – maybe three – episodes.  Tops.”  Jared nudged Jensen’s shoulder with his own.  “It’s not like we have to fuck or anything, Jen.  We’re talking a little kiss.  A little grab.  No big deal.”  Jensen’s brows punched down even lower making big lines in his forehead.  Jared reached up one of his ridiculously long, fine-fingered hands to scrub at the wrinkles.  “Time to consider Botox, my man,” he said.  “You’re no longer the hot new thang with the purdy, purdy mouth.  Gotta start taking care of your looks.”  

He managed to keep a straight face as he said it.  Barely.  But when – after a long incredulous second had passed – Jensen punched him a good one in the ribs saying, “Get the fuck off me!  I’ll ‘purdy mouth’ you, ya prick!”  Jared could no longer contain his hilarity.  

“Yeah, ya will,” he got out between guffaws.  “You’re gonna ‘purdy mouth’ me all over the damn place.”  

Jensen’s face turned apoplectic.  No sense of ha-ha in that boy at all.  Jared just laughed harder.  He laughed until he was sick with it, until white lights played peek-a-boo in his peripheral vision due to lack of oxygen.  And all the while Jensen sat there glowering and red-faced.  Too funny.

“Oh, fuck this!” Jensen spat, grabbing his coat.  “And fuck you.  Grow the hell up, Jay.”

“Gay’s the new sexy, Jen.”  Snort.  Snigger.  “Everyone says so.”

No response from the guy with the ‘purdy mouth’ except for the slamming of the screen door.

Knowing Jensen could still hear him – his trailer was made of tinfoil, as far as sound was concerned – Jared hollered, “If Heath and Jake could do it, so can we!”

 

***

 

“Too bad you’re no Jake Gyllenhaal,” Jensen muttered, taking his position against the bedroom wall, arms held out and down, like they’d be in the scene.  This was it – the rehearsal he’d been dreading for the last forty-eight hours.  But since no humongous natural disaster had occurred to save him – Thanks for nothing, God – here he was. 

The season five climax had Dean chained up and at Lucifer’s apparently libidinous mercy – with Sam playing the devil, of course.  Gotta give those fangirls what they want.  

Fucking retarded is what it was.

“Hey, screw you,” Jared said, setting a butter knife down on the dresser and rolling his shoulders.  He’d practised the possession scene half a dozen times now and his shoulders were killing him.  It was hard to maintain that kind of obvious muscle strain for any real length of time.  Five years ago, he wouldn’t have been able to manage it at all.  “I’m not Jake, you are.”

Jensen sputtered.  “Screw _you!_   I’m the blond—”

“Yeah,” Jared interrupted, pulling his tee shirt over his head.  “But you’re also the short guy and clearly the bottom.”  He tossed the shirt aside and stepped closer.  “’Cause, hello,” he said, pointing to his naked chest, “the Devil, remember?”

“I’m not short you’re just a freak of nature,” Jensen said as his eyes flicked over Jared’s toned torso.  It was kinda weird how big Jared had gotten since the show started – Jensen had watched Padalecki transform from a boy to a man in just a few short years.  

Jared took another step forward, which brought him right into Jensen’s personal space.  Jensen found himself face to face with Jared’s collarbone.  A really big, really buff man, he silently acknowledged.  “And I’m so not your bottom,” he said, before considering how stupid that would sound out loud.

Jared threw back his head and laughed and Jensen admired the strong, tan column of his friend’s throat.  What?  No he didn’t. The strong, tan column?  WTF?  “Let’s just get it over with,” Jensen snapped, his hands clenching into fists.

“You know,” Jared said as he glanced down at Jensen’s white knuckles.  “It might be better if I actually did tie you up.”  His eyes rose again, suddenly serious.  “Make it easier to do the scene...maybe.  I think I’ve got some bungees in the garage.”  They were rehearsing at Jared’s house – they always did, since he was the only one to actually have a house in Vancouver.  

For a split-second, Jensen honestly didn’t know what to say.  Where the hell had that come from?  What was Jared suggesting?  Did he think Jensen was gonna freak out or something?  Christ, he may not like having to tongue wrestle with a guy, but Jensen was a goddamned professional!  He certainly didn’t need to be tied down to do his _job!_   “I think I can manage,” he said, his tone right pissed off.  “Just fucking go already, Jared.”

Jared shrugged and licked his lips.  “Sorry,” he said, holding up his hands.  “Sorry, man.  Don’t snap my head off.”  He licked his lips again and then just stood there shifting his weight from one foot to the other, looking _nothing_ like the bad-ass character he was supposed to portray.  

Jensen’s eyes narrowed as he suddenly ‘got’ it.  For all his laughing and his teasing Jared was just as uncomfortable with this as Jensen was.  Sonofabitch.  A grin stole across his face.  ‘C’mon Jay,” he purred.  “It’s no big deal right?  A little kiss, a little grab...”  Jared winced at the quote and Jensen grinned even wider.  “Suck it up, buttercup.”

Jared nodded.  “Yeah, you’re right,” he mumbled, as he swiped a hand through his shaggy hair.  “You’re right,” he said again. Then he turned and walked a few steps away before dropping his head and sucking in a deep breath.  It was a technique he often used to focus. 

Another breath.  

Jensen watched Jared’s broad shoulders rise, ribs expanding, muscles gleaming in the late afternoon sun.  A few seconds later, his entire mien changed.  Even though he still faced away from Jensen, Jared’s strong young body radiated power all of a sudden – power and an angry arrogance.  And wow.  Padalecki had turned into some kind of great actor for Jensen to be able to read all that just from the flexing muscles of his bare back. 

When Jared turned back around malice glinted in his narrowed eyes.

Jensen gulped and threw on Dean’s infamous sneer like a warm, protective cloak.  He could do this – as Dean Winchester he could do anything.  “It’s never gonna happen, you bastard!” he said, his voice much too low and raspy.  Have to work on that. 

Jared smiled, making his dimples appear.  But the smile was nothing like his normal, the-world-is-just-so-darn- _wonderful_ grin.  This smile was vicious and cruel and...sexy as fuck. Jensen gritted his teeth.  No it _wasn’t_ sexy as fuck.  What the hell was wrong with him?

Jared walked – stalked – closer until he towered over Jensen, his hot, bare chest brushing Jensen’s own denim clad torso.  It was no problem at all to get into Dean’s panicked headspace.  The gulping, close to hyperventilating breaths he took weren’t even feigned.  

The sun chose that moment to duck behind a cloud and the room darkened dramatically as Jared leaned down and rubbed his cheek over Jensen’s hair.  Jensen – as Dean – was supposed to jerk away; which was good because he’d already done that.

Jared – No.  Lucifer.  Get into character, damn it!  Lucifer chuckled and grabbed a fistful of Dean’s short hair, tugging his face up.  His index finger skimmed across Dean’s bottom lip.  “Oh, but it is,” he said.  “It _is_ going to happen.”  

Jensen knew what came next and his muscles tensed, making the wrench on his neck much more painful than it had to be as Jared yanked his head hard to the side and ran the silky-wet flat of his tongue up Jensen’s throat.  And, fuck, Jensen was so not springing a hard-on.  He wasn’t.  

“You can’t fight destiny, Dean,” Lucifer whispered, his breath hot in Dean’s ear.  Then he bit down on Dean’s earlobe – which wasn’t in the fucking script at all.  Damn Padalecki and his improvisation!  Jensen was definitely hyperventilating now.  “Just let Michael in,” the devil encouraged, his voice sugar-sweet seduction in Jensen’s ear.  “We’ll fight.  The world will end...or not.”  Then he laughed – but it wasn’t Lucifer’s dark, sensual chuckle, it was Jared’s ‘whoops-I-fucked-up’ snigger.  “Shit.  Sorry.  I forgot the knife on the dresser,” he said.  “Hang on.”

Jensen sagged against the wall and tried to get his breathing under control without being way obvious about it.  His cheeks were so hot it felt like he had a third-degree sunburn.  “Jesus.  Get a grip,” he hissed to himself.

“Hmm?”  Jared asked, as he turned back around from retrieving the butter knife.  His cheeks were red too, Jensen was interested to note.  The blush also covered his throat and was, even now, creeping down his chest.  

Was this fucking him over as hard as it was fucking Jensen over?  God, Jensen hoped so.  Lame to be the only one entirely flipped out here.  “Nothing,” Jensen said.  “‘C’mon, let’s just finish this.” _Please, God, let’s just finish this._   Jensen was ignoring the fact that they still had to film the scene tomorrow.  He couldn’t deal with that thought right now.  Right now, it was all about: ‘Get er _done_ and then get drunk as fast as possible.  

Jared’s cheeks turned even redder.  “Umm, okay.  Wanna go from the top?”

 “Fuck no,” Jensen rasped.  

Jared shrugged and moved into position in front of Jensen once more.  This time Jensen got an up close and personal view of Jared’s transformation from guy-next-door to sex-on-two-legs.  Jensen gasped as Jared surged up against him and his cock, which until that moment had contented itself with semi-hardness sprang instantly and fully erect. 

God, kill me now, Jensen prayed.  Please.  Right now would be great.

“You can’t fight destiny,” Jared – Lucifer! – whispered once more as he set his teeth against Jensen’s throat and bit down.   Not in the script either, asshole!  Fuck!!  Jensen’s back arched, quite against his will, and his hips jerked against Jared’s.  Which was when he discovered that Jared was sporting his own huge, unscripted hard-on.  A weird sound, somewhere between a whimper and a cough, came from deep in Jared’s throat as he thrust back, grinding into Jensen’s stomach.   

And they both ignored that, too.  Masters of denial is what they were.  Still, Jensen was panting as he said his next line.  Couldn’t seem to help himself.  “Watch me.”

Jared’s head came up.  His eyes, less than an inch away, were all midnight-black pupil, with hardly even a rim of hazel left.  “Alastair tells me torture isn’t very effective on you.”  The knife rose to trace Jensen’s cheekbone, and, yeah, he knew it was just a butter knife but the cold caress still made him shudder.  Jared trailed the blade along Jensen’s clenched jaw and then dipped lower to circle his Adam’s apple.  In the script, he nicks Dean’s skin at this point and a bead of blood trickles into Jensen’s collar.  Jared followed the imaginary bead down until he hit the first button on Jensen’s shirt.  

For the show, they’d use CGI to have him popping off Dean’s buttons with a long, big bladed bowie.  For now, Jensen was wearing snap buttons on an old denim work shirt.  The knife slipped below the snap and a casual flick of Jared’s wrist had it popping open.  Good thing Jared only wielded a butter knife, ‘cause Jensen’s chest was heaving so hard he’d have stabbed his own stupid self on a bowie.

“He said you were a tough guy – that before you broke, you’d actually come to enjoy the pain,” Jared went on, his voice thick and deep, with just a hint of Texas drawl in it.  Not good.  He was losing the character.  

Jensen opened his mouth to say so, but then Jared popped the next three buttons in rapid-fire succession and the words dried up on his tongue.  Jared spread the lapels of Jensen’s shirt and stroked the knife in a hard line up the center of his chest.  When the blade reached his pecs, it circled left to tease his nipple.  Jensen’s palms smacked the wall as he struggled to hold position.  Then the knife figure-eighted to play over his right nipple.  Jensen moaned.  Damn it all to hell, he moaned.  And wait a minute, wasn’t there supposed to be dialogue here?  Was it his line?  

Jared’s cock was a hot exclamation point burning into Jensen’s belly.  Jensen was so hard, himself, he could feel pre-come soaking through his underwear to make a big wet spot on his jeans.  And fuck!  Whose line _was_ it anyway?

“Now,” Jared purred, bending a bit to lick at Jensen’s collarbone.  “While Alastair is good – I’m really _so_ much better.”  So it wasn’t Jensen’s line after all.  Halleluiah.  Jared’s mouth licked and sucked...and bit.  He was leaving marks – unexplainable marks.  

The knife moved lower.  It dropped to Jensen’s crotch and traced the outline of his cock while, at the same time, Jared’s teeth latched onto Jensen’s glass-sharp left nipple.  Jensen cried out, his hands rising to clench in Jared’s hair – whether to tug his friend away, or pull him closer...who could say?  

But then Jensen remembered that he was supposed to be chained up still, so he punched the wall instead.  Not that anything else was going according to script.  I mean, sure the lines were right, but this was the WB not freakin’ HBO.  No knives on cocks allowed.  

Jensen should stop this.  Shouldn’t he?  Fuck Jared had a talented mouth.  

Fuck.  Shit.  Fuck.

“I figure he just didn’t hit on quite the right technique for you, Dean,” Jared went on. “Couldn’t find the one thing that would truly break you.”  He gave Jensen’s nipple one more ball-clenching bite before standing upright once more.  “But I think you and I both know what that ‘thing’ is, don’t we, gorgeous?”   His big hands rose to trap Jensen’s face as he said it, the knife clattering to the floor.  

Gorgeous?  Lucifer wasn’t supposed to call Dean gorgeous.  Now they were adlibbing?

 “How long do you think you’ll be able to hold out with your baby brother’s cock reaming your tight little ass, Dean?”  Jared asked in his natural, husky Texas drawl.  “How long until the guilt and the pleasure make you go fucking insane?”  

Forget adlibbing.  Jared was just making shit up now.  Really dirty shit which _was_ going to make Jensen go insane with pleasure if he couldn’t get himself back under control.  And, Jesus H. Christ! did Jared kiss his mother with that mouth?  

Jensen sucked in a Jared soaked breath and attempted to pull his mind out of his cock.  So, okay.  They weren’t on script at all anymore.  Jared had lost complete control of his accent – and, it would seem, his mind.  

And yet, Jensen knew this was exactly how the scene was supposed to play.  The tension and eroticism were dead on.  So he had a choice to make – right now – because unwilling Dean was about to turn into more than willing Michael.  

Ah, Christ, they’d already gone so far.  Way too fucking far.  May as well keep going.  

Jensen’s decision had nothing to do with the fact that he found himself desperate to know what Jared tasted like.  Desperate to know how his lips would move against his own.  How his tongue would feel.  Seriously.  Nothing. 

Jared leaned away to ask, “Do you want me to say Michael’s lines?” The words were Padalecki, but the face was pure Lucifer.  Cocky and beautiful.  Jeez, how had Jensen never realized how freakin’ beautiful his co-star was?  Maybe those fangirls weren’t quite so stupid after all.  

Jared’s tongue – shockingly pink – slicked along his lower lip.  Jensen would bet good money the bastard _knew_ how sexy that was.   One eyebrow rose as he waited for Jensen’s answer.  Crap.  What was the question again?  Oh, yeah.  Michael’s lines.  

Michael was supposed to be talking in Dean’s head.  Cutting a deal.  Fucked if Jensen could remember what exactly the deal was supposed to be though – something about a short time trade and a promise that Dean’s life would go back to normal if Michael won.  And if he didn’t then nothing really mattered anyway, right?  

“No,” Jensen said, his gaze riveted to Jared’s mouth as his tongue teased across his lower lip for the second damn time.  “Never mind.  Just go already.”

A smirk to rival any Dean could produce curled Jared’s lip. “Okey dokey,” he said, his hands tightening on Jensen’s face as he closed in for the kill. 

‘Okey dokey?’ Jensen thought.  ‘Okey-fuckin’-dokey?  What the _fuck_ kind of thing was that to say?’  

Then he couldn’t think at all anymore because Jared was...raping his mouth.  Girls didn’t kiss like this.  Girls were soft.  Soft little tongues, soft little lips, gentle, accepting kisses.  This kiss was hard, and rough, and as far from gentle as Jensen could imagine.  He had a split second where he just froze.  But that was okay, Dean was supposed to do that.  All good.  Then Michael came in to play.  God bless Michael – an angel as arrogant and cocksure as Lucifer was.  An angel who knew exactly how to bring the devil to his knees.  

An image of Jared falling to his knees in front of him flashed through Jensen’s mind and a moan tore itself from his throat.  _Now_ Jensen could twist his hands in Jared’s hair, because even massive steel chains weren’t enough to keep an archangel down.  

So that’s what Jensen did: he took two big fistfuls of his friend’s sweat-damp, silk-brown hair, slung his leg around his friend’s hard, lean hip and shoved his tongue down his friend’s open and willing throat.  It was Jared’s turn to moan.  Jensen’s hips rolled at the wanton sound.  

“Jen, God I want—”  

Instead of finishing the sentence, Jared grabbed Jensen’s ass and hauled him up until his feet no longer touched the floor.  Jensen practically felt _obliged_ to wrap his other leg around Jared’s hips and get a good, long grind in.  And it was a good grind.  A freakin’ great grind.  Jensen could tell Jared thought so too, by the way his friend kind of lost his shit and began moaning and shuddering and saying stuff like, “Fuck me.  Feels so good.  Oh, Jesus, Jen... Oh, fuck.  I can’t—”

“Name’s Michael,” Jensen reminded, using his fistful of hair to twist Jared’s head far to the side.  With no preamble whatsoever, he thrust his tongue deep into Jared’s ear while grinding even harder against the billy bat trapped in his friend’s pants.

One of Jared’s palms smacked into the back of Jensen’s skull, keeping him pinned there.  Meaning that now Jared was holding Jensen’s entire weight up with only one arm.  Fucking behemoth.  Goddamned sexy is what that was.  

“Again,” Jared gasped.  “God, do that again.”  

Since Jensen wasn’t sure whether Jared meant the cock-grind or the ear-fuck, he did both again.  Something garbled and utterly incoherent fell from Jared’s mouth.  A smile played across Jensen’s lips.  He’d felt the power shift when he’d ‘become’ Michael.  Knew Jared was close to coming unglued.  And for some reason – never mind why – Jensen really wanted to see that, so he pulled his tongue out of Jared’s ear and nibbled his way back to his friend’s kiss swollen mouth.  When he got there, he bit Jared’s bottom lip – hard.  Jared’s breath hissed between his teeth in what sounded suspiciously like a choked off sob. 

“Is it war you’re looking for, Luce, or love,” Jensen asked.  “’ I’m confused, brother.” 

Somehow, Jared remembered what he was supposed to say next.  “Michael,” he breathed.  His lust blown eyes fluttered open to spear Jensen with a look of such dazed longing Jensen’s heart actually skipped a beat and then had to race to catch up.  “I’ve missed you.”

“And I you,” Jensen said, before crushing his mouth against his co-star’s.   Jared latched onto his tongue like a man possessed, his kiss so hungry, so damned primal, Jensen was quickly forced to give up any semblance of control.  He just opened his mouth wider and gave in to the assault.  It was fan-friggin’-tastic.  

“Fuck first, then fight.” Jared gasped out the end line between passionate, frenzied kisses as he fell backward, across the bed, with Jensen’s legs still wrapped tight around his waist.  

In the show, they were supposed to have been magically transported to some kind of kinky angelic boudoir...which was why they’d been rehearsing in the bedroom in the first place.  And Jared’s line was actually supposed to be, ‘Love first, then war.’  But both Jensen and Jared knew, ‘Fuck first, then fight’ was the way it _really_ should be said; if there was no such thing as PG ratings and TV sensors, that is.

Sooo.... That was that.  The scene was over.  

Finished.  

Finito. 

Funny how neither of them were leaping apart or anything. 

 

TBC 

 


	2. Chapter 2

  


It was probably only a few minutes that they continued to kiss.  

Kiss is such a silly, insipid little word, though.  Isn’t it?  People kiss their moms, their babies.  What Jared and Jensen did was devour each other.  Teeth clashing, tongues duelling, breath coming in hot, panted growls – it probably _was_ only a few minutes, but it felt like so much longer.  

Jared’s big hands were freakin’ _everywhere._ They tangled in Jensen’s short hair – angling his head just so.  They snuck up under Jensen’s shirt, raking across and hard the lines of his back, and then clawed their way lower to grope and squeeze his ass.  His long index finger stroked the denim seam between Jensen’s butt cheeks, slipping down low so that Jensen shuddered and gasped and became dimly aware that he was humping his friend’s body with the same vacant enthusiasm Harley, Jared’s dog, humped the couch cushions.  

His inner conscience chose that moment to pipe up, telling Jensen that if he didn’t stop – and stop right now – his and Jared’s friendship would be over _._

Irrevocably.   Irrefutably.  Over.   

That truth didn’t still Jensen’s hips, however.  Didn’t make his hands quit groping or his tongue quit tasting, because...Oh, Jesus Christ – because he was close.  He was just so fucking close.  

And it felt _sooo_ fucking good.  

Jared wasn’t in any better shape.  He was bucking his hips up to meet Jensen’s and making these high, wolfish whines way in the back of his throat.  The sound was like nothing Jensen had ever heard.  It was driving him wild.  After one more bruising kiss, he tore himself away from Jared’s lips, ducking down to open his mouth over his friend’s carotid artery.  

Jensen set his teeth deep, lapping and sucking at Jared’s jackrabbit pulse. 

“Oh, God!” One of Jared’s hands reached up to grab the slats of his headboard.  The wood creaked ominously.  His other hand crushed Jensen’s face against him so that Jensen felt suffocated – drowned in Jared’s spicy-sweet scent and sweat-slick skin.  Not a bad way to go, actually.  “Harder,” Jared moaned, hips churning.  “Fuck, Jen!”

So Jensen bit harder.  He knew he was leaving bruises – big bruises that Jared wouldn’t be able to hide – he knew, but he just couldn’t make himself care.  

As Jensen slip-slid down Jared’s body, teasing, biting, sucking every inch of skin he could reach, he brought his knees inside of Jared’s own.  When he latched onto Jared’s left nipple his friend’s mile-long legs clamped themselves around his waist.  The words ‘fuck’ and ‘Jen’ fell in a continuous litany from his lips: 

“ _Fuck, Jen, fuck, Jen, fuck, Jen...”_

 Jensen groaned and thrust into the cradle of Jared’s crotch, just as if he actually _were_ fucking him.  As if he were plunging deep and hard into his friend’s body.  There was a loud crack as the slat Jared had been hanging on to suddenly gave way.  His back arched, perfect muscles straining, and his lips peeled back from his teeth.  

It was, bar none, the sexiest thing Jensen had ever seen.  

“Oh, fuck,” Jared choked out one final time before his body convulsed.  “ _Jen!_ ”

 

***

 

Neither of them heard the front door open, nor the thud of Genevieve’s purse hitting the foyer floor.  The first hint they had of her presence was when her cheerful voice floated up the stairs, “Hey, babe.  You ready?  If we leave now we can grab a bite to eat before my plane takes off.”  

Jensen threw himself off his friend.  A scalded cat would have been hard pressed to move so quick.  He fell – leaped – stumbled – to Jared’s closet, wrenched open the door and grabbed the first long shirt he saw – a hideous purple paisley number he’d always secretly loathed.  “Put this on!” he ordered, turning back around and tossing the shirt in the same motion.  

It landed across Jared’s thigh but he made no move to reach for it.  He just continued to lay there, spread-eagle in the center of the bed, looking dazed.  

Jared’s chest was flushed deep crimson with dark red bruises already forming...everywhere.  His hair was a wet tangle around his cheeks and his eyes had a slumberous, sated glaze to them.  “Jesus,” Jensen breathed, feeling a pang.  Jared looked like he’d been well and truly fucked.  He was gorgeous.  

Genevieve’s heels click-clacked up the wooden stairs and Jensen shook it off.  Whatever ‘it’ was.   Jared’s wife – his freakin’ _wife!_ – was about to walk in and find her man looking like a very well-used fuck toy.  And ohjesuschrist, what the hell had Jensen just _done?_     

“C’mon, Jay!” He leaned down to throw Jared’s arm across his shoulder and haul him to his feet.  “Get in the bathroom!”  

A sense of urgency must have finally hit, because Jared grabbed the shirt and attempted to stand on his own.  His movements were slow and uncoordinated.

Jensen practically threw him at the bathroom door.  “Go!” 

The ensuite’s door had just clicked closed when the bedroom door swung open.  Jensen was facing away, frantically snapping his shirt together and just hoping – praying – that he’d gotten the buttons done up properly.

“Oh, hey, Jen,” Genevieve said.  “How’s it going?”

He took a deep, bracing breath and turned around.  “Good, thanks,” he replied, his voice all studied casualness.  “How you doin’?”  

It was an Oscar worthy performance.  

Apparently not good enough, though, since Genevieve cocked her head and frowned as soon as she got a glimpse of his face.  Jensen flushed like a guilty school kid.  Damn it!  He swabbed his fingers across his mouth and belatedly realized that his lips were raw and the whole lower half of his face hurt.  When he realized it was razor burn he was feeling Jensen choked, but quickly turned the odd nose into a cough.  “Well, ahh...” he said, averting his eyes.  “I guess I should...umm.”  

So much for that Oscar.

“What’s up, Jen?” Genevieve asked, crossing the room to lay a small hand on his forearm.  “You sick?”  

His mouth opened but no words came out.  And God was _still_ withholding that natural disaster, the bastard.  

“You look...” Her fingers rose to delicately touch Jensen’s chapped lips and a sudden ‘O’ rounded her mouth.  

Panic fluttered in Jensen’s stomach.  “Genny, I—” he started, with no actual idea of what else to say.

A sunny grin broke over her face.  “You were rehearsing _that_ scene, weren’t you?”  She chuckled.  “So how’d it go?  You guys gonna have all your fangirls creaming in their jeans, or what?”

Yeah.  Probably.  Her husband had certainly creamed _his_ jeans.  Jensen winced at the mean-spirited thought, even as his shoulders sagged with relief.  Genevieve knew about the scene.  Of course she did.  He didn’t have to explain a darn thing.  Thank you God – and by the way, he hadn’t really meant that ‘bastard’ thing.  

“Well, I only puked in my mouth a tiny bit,” he said, rubbing the back of his neck.  “So I guess it went okay.”

“I can’t wait to see it!  Where’s the...”  Her gaze danced around the room.  “Aha!” she crowed, practically skipping over to the digital recorder sitting on the highboy, its little red light blinking like a tiny, cheerful beacon of doom.

Crap!  How could he have forgotten about the damn camera?  They recorded all their rehearsals.  

Jensen did that whole stupid leap, stumble, fall crap again trying to get to it before she did.  He snatched the recorder out of Genevieve’s hands just as she hit the rewind button.     

“Oh, come on!”  Genevieve pouted up at him, her feminine charm in full play.  “You guys _always_ let me watch.” 

 A burble of semi-hysterical laughter tried to make it past Jensen’s lips.  He tamped it down hard.  “Sorry, not this time, hon,” he said.  “You’re gonna have to wait to see us liplocked – just like the rest of the fangirls.”

She huffed out an annoyed breath, ruffling the artful waves across her forehead.  Jensen reached out and mussed them up even more, just like always.  See, there.  Everything quid-pro-quo.  He could do normal. 

“Fine,” she sighed.  “Whatever.  Where’s Jay?  We need to get a move on.”

Jensen jerked his chin toward the bathroom.  “Said something about a chilli dog gone wrong,” he whispered, mock horrified.

Genevieve wrinkled her nose.  “Great.  And I have to be locked in the car with him.”  She click-clacked over to the door.  “You okay in there, babe.”

“Uhhh...yeah?” came Jared’s soft, oddly pitched voice.  

Genevieve threw Jensen a puzzled look.  “K,” she said, sounding less than convinced.  “I’ll be waiting in the car.  Could you bring my suitcase down?”

“Sure thing.”

She patted Jensen’s cheek as she breezed past him.  “Don’t worry, loverboy.  You’ll have him back in your arms again in a few hours.”

Jensen tried – but imagined his smile still came off pretty weak. “Super.”

As soon as she’d left, Jared cracked open the bathroom door.  The purple shirt was done all the way up to his throat and his legs were bare.  “Could, uhh...  Could you grab me another pair of jeans?”  His cheeks flamed red.  “Second drawer on the left.”

Jensen did, feeling Jared’s eyes on him the whole time.  “I’ll Email you the video,” he said, passing over the pants as he stared fixedly at a big lilac paisley on Jared’s left shoulder.  “Take your time with Genny.  I think I’m done for the night.”

“Jen...”  Jared reached through the opening to cup Jensen’s chin and tilt his face up.  His expression was anguished, his eyes moist.  

The long, golden-pink rays of the setting sun bathed Jared’s skin, lending him splendour he didn’t even need.  Jensen was horrified to find his own eyes filling.  Lord almighty, when had he turned into such a pussy? “Don’t!” He slapped Jared’s hand away with more force than he meant to.  “Don’t, Jay.  I can’t—” He scrubbed his hand over his eyes.  “I’m done,” he said again, turning away.  “I’m just...done.”

 

***

 

The next day, Jensen stumbled into the make-up trailer at 5:55 a.m.  He’d gotten less than three hours sleep.  No need to get into why.  

No.  You know what?  Screw it.  Let’s get into it.

First, he’d puttered around his apartment for a few hours, waiting for Jared to show up and want to talk.  Because Jared _always_ wanted to talk about _everything_.  Jensen had planned to send him right home.  Of course he had.  But the point was moot, since Jared _hadn’t_ shown up.  

Jensen had thought about calling, but he couldn’t make himself dial the number.  He’d thought about heading back over there – even had his keys in hand – but in the end, couldn’t make himself do that either.  

I mean, Jesus.  What was there to _say?_   Did they make a Hallmark card for crap like this:  

_Hey, buddy, you know how I couldn’t stop kissing you and then brought you off in your pants causing us to almost get caught by your wife..._

_Really sorry about that!_

Fuck.

After realizing that he was going to be spending the night alone after all, Jensen spent the next two hours drinking beer and diligently _not_ watching their rehearsal video.  The two hours after that were dedicated to _watching_ the damned video and jerking off like a thirteen year old with his first Victoria’s Secret catalogue.  

The kissing scene was hot.  No doubt about it.  Jared all tough and sexy, and then just horny and sexy.  _Hot_.  The fans would eat it up.  

But it was the part _after_ they’d fallen on the bed that Jensen kept rewinding.  Before, that is, he smartened up and simply looped the clip. 

The angle of the camera had only allowed the bottom half of their legs to be filmed, which was too bad, because he’d have loved to see Jared’s face as he came.  It couldn’t possibly be as spectacular as Jensen remembered, right?  

But it was the sounds that really got him.  The sounds coming out of Jared’s mouth were so desperate, so damned erotic, that even though Jensen shouldn’t have been able to – there was no way even an ounce of fluid remained in his body – he got hard every time the loop played.  Every.  Fucking.  Time.

At midnight, he’d Emailed the video to Jared – after spending another hour typing and deleting messages.  Typing and deleting.  Typing and deleting...  

Finally Jensen had just sent it – no message – no subject.  Suck on that, Padelicki.

At 2:00 a.m. he’d fallen into bed, drunk and miserable.  

At 4:45 a.m. he’d fallen back out of bed, slapping feebly at his alarm clock on his way down to the floor – less drunk – still miserable.  

So now, here he was...

Yippee-ki-yay, motherfucker.

 

***

 

Jared sat in the far chair having his hair played with, so Jensen slumped into the chair closest to the door – leaving two seats between them.

“Shirt off,” said, Sarah, the make-up girl, her back to him as she fiddled with a tray of blush and bronzers.  

Jensen gave her red ponytail a friendly tug before he complied.  When she didn’t start to work on him right away, he leaned his head against the neck rest and shut his eyes, more than ready to grab a catnap.

“Oh, for fuck’s sake!” Sarah cursed.  “Not you, too!”

“Wha—”  Jensen looked around to see who she was bitching at.  Turns out it was him.

“You know,” she growled, smacking her hand down on a stick of green cover-up.  Her armful of silver bracelets jangled angrily.  “You two could tell your girlfriends to tone it down until filming is over.  God, Jen, you knew you were shooting topless today!”

What the hell was she yelling about?  Jensen looked up, caught his own blood-shot eyes in the mirror, and belatedly realized why Sarah was so pissed off.  He had four – no, five – hickeys, the largest just under his jaw.  

“At least Dani showed a modicum of restraint,” Sarah grumbled, bending to smear green gunk on the offensive marks.  “Jared, here...”  She threw out her arm and pointed, her bracelets jangling away.  “...looks like he was mauled by a fucking tiger.” She scowled.  “I mean honestly, what was Genevieve thinking?” 

Jared had been reading a magazine, ignoring them both, but at Sarah’s outburst he glanced up.  Since Jensen had already been looking at him, trying to see the bruises under his half-buttoned shirt, their gazes met.  Locked.

“Sorry,” Jensen mouthed, meaning the marks.

Meaning everything.

Jared’s lips twitched but then he immediately broke eye contact and looked down at his magazine again.

Jensen scowled.  What exactly had that flicker of a smile meant?  Was he forgiven or not, damn it?  Jared was usually an open book – his feelings right there on his sleeve for anyone to read.  But right now Jensen had no idea what was going on in his friend’s head.  

It was killing him.  

 

***

 

 

By the time Jensen got out of make-up they were already setting up the lighting for Sam’s possession scene.  Jensen’s eyes passed over the non-descript motel set without really seeing it.  He was looking for Jared.

But his co-star didn’t show up until Phil called everyone to their places.  Then, like a big bunny from a magician’s hat, he just appeared.

The tension between the two Js worked a charm for the difficult scene, really adding to the whole ‘apocalyptic’ feel.  After only the twelfth take Phil called _cut_ , sounding just as pleased as punch.  Capturing an entire scene in less than half a day was unheard of.  He had good reason to be pleased.  “Really excellent work, you two,” he said, clapping them both on the shoulders.  “Keep it up and we might actually get out of here before midnight.”

Jared gave the director a subdued version of his normally ebullient grin. “Thanks.”  

“I wouldn’t count on it,” Jensen snarled.  “We still have the stupid kiss scene to shoot and _some of us_ don’t seem to have their lines down yet.  Or their fucking accents,” he snarked under his breath. 

Jared’s nostrils flared.  His jaw clenched.  

Phil’s gaze snapped back and forth between them as he realized that all that wonderful tension hadn’t just been fine acting.  “Well, if that’s true, then I suggest that _some of you_ had better go over your lines some more.  We’ve got about an hour until the warehouse is set up.  Put it to good use.”  

As soon as Phil walked away, Jared grabbed Jensen’s wrist and began hauling him towards the trailers.

“Hey!”  Jensen attempted to pull away, or at least halt their forward momentum.  Jared didn’t even slow down.  “ _Hey!”_ Jensen yelled again, he felt like a Chihuahua must feel when fighting it’s leash.  Pathetic and ineffective.  “What the fuck is your problem?”

“What the—my—what the fuck is _my—”_  Jared was so mad he couldn’t even get the rest of the sentence out.  He yanked Jensen between two trailers and slammed him into the shiny silver wall of the closest.  “You didn’t want to talk about it yesterday,” he hissed, slapping his palms against the trailer on either side of Jensen’s head.  “ _Just couldn’t!”_ he mimicked in a high, nasty voice that sounded nothing like Jensen’s own.  “And now you want to air it in front of the whole crew.”  His right hand curled into a fist and punched the aluminum right beside Jensen’s ear.  “What the fuck is _your_ problem, Jen?”

“Did you even watch the video,” Jensen asked.  The words came out in a growl, even though his legs were shaking with a combination of adrenaline and...something else he didn’t care to examine.  “The devil’s not from Texas, ya moron.  And what the fuck was with that adlibbing?  The rehearsal was totally _fucked_ and you know it.”

“Yeah, I watched it.  Many times.”  Jared leaned in even closer, his hot breath washing Jensen’s lips.  “And you know what, Jen?  Maybe if you weren’t climbing up my body like a fucking spider monkey I’d have been able to remember the damn lines.”

Jensen’s lips opened on a retort, something to the effect of, _Bullshit! You were blowing it long before I did that!_ But then the image of how he _had_ actually climbed Jared’s body like some sort of monkey flashed full blown into his head and he barked a laugh instead.  

Jared’s head snapped back as if Jensen had slapped him. “What’s funny?!” 

“You.  Me.”  Jensen waved a hand around.  “This.”  He gently pushed at Jared’s chest, encouraging him to back off.  Jared did, but not far enough.  “I was just thinking,” Jensen said, “about how I fell out of a tree when I was eight.  Broke my arm in two places.  When my mother asked me why I’d climbed the tree in the first place I told her, ‘Mom, if God didn’t want us climbing trees he wouldn’ta made ‘em so darn tall.”

His tongue poked into his cheek as Jared struggled not to smile.  “Sooo,” he finally said, a dimple appearing in spite of his best efforts.  “You’re saying I’m a tree you couldn’t resist climbing because you have the impulse control of an eight year old?”

Another snigger escaped Jensen’s mouth.  “Something like that I guess.  Yeah.  Sorry.  Sorry about tiger-mauling ya, too – while I’m at it.”

Jared snorted, but then immediately sighed.  “Fuck, Jen.”  

Jensen pretended that those particular words had _no effect_ on him.  Hell, if he pretended hard enough maybe it would be true. 

 “Look, I don’t know what happened yesterday,” Jared said.  He pinched the bridge of his nose and Jensen saw that his knuckles were bloody.    “I really don’t.  But I’m ready to pretend it was a just a random, unexplainable thing.”  His hand moved as if to touch Jensen’s cheek, but at the last second dropped away.  “You’re one of my best friends, Jensen.  I don’t want to lose you over this.”

Jensen tried on a ‘best friend’ smile. It fit okay.  “You won’t,” he assured.  Then he cleared his throat and said, “But I don’t really want to rehearse the scene again, okay?  Bad enough we’re gonna have to do it a hundred more times today.”  He looked down and kicked at the asphalt.  “Honestly, Jay?  I think I’ve had all the tree climbing I can handle for now.”

When Jensen looked back up Jared was giving him a small, sad smile.  “That’s cool.  I _do_ know the lines, you know.  And I promise I won’t adlib.  I guess I just got a little...carried away yesterday.”  Jared blushed as he said it, which was kind of adorable.  

Jensen pushed away from the trailer and they both started walking towards their respective home-away-from-homes.  He didn’t know what Jared’s plans were for the next hour, but _Jensen_ planned to spend the entire time jerking off, because there was no way he was going to spring a hard-on in front of the entire Supernatural crew.  No fucking way.

There was an uncomfortable pause when they reached Jensen’s trailer.  Neither seemed to know what to say.

“Okay.  I guess I’ll see you, umm, soon.” Jared said, his hands shoved deep into his pockets.

Jensen lifted one shoulder.  “Yep.  Guess so.”  

The screen door had barely swung shut before Jensen’s hands were at the zip of his jeans.  Snippets of Jared ran through his head as he started to stroke himself.

_“Yeah, I watched it.  Many times.”_

_“I just got a little...carried away.”_

_“Fuck, Jen.”_

_...Fuck, Jen, fuck, Jen, fuck, Jen..._

Jensen groaned.

_“But I’m ready to pretend it was a just a random, unexplainable thing.  I don’t want to lose you over this.”_

Wait a minute.  Jensen’s eyes snapped open as he replayed that last bit.  What could Jared have meant by that?  Didn’t he think it _was_ a random and unexplainable thing?

_...Fuck, Jen, fuck, Jen, fuck, Jen..._

Oh, screw it. It probably hadn’t meant anything.  Jensen let his eyes fall shut again and pumped his cock harder.

_...Fuck, Jen, fuck, Jen, fuck, Jen..._

Biting his knuckle to keep Jared’s name locked inside, Jensen came in long, spattering white ribbons all over his trailer’s cheap beige carpet. 

 

TBC

 

 


	3. Chapter 3

  


“Now, try not to even breath until he cuts this off you,” said Shane, the costume designer’s assistant, as he sewed Dean’s green flannel shirt together at the buttonholes.  He was using only one strand of thread so that the faux knife could slice through it easily.

“I’m supposed to be struggling, Shane.  Kinda hard to struggle without breathing.”

The pretty and very, umm, _happy_ young man – twink was the vernacular, Jensen was almost positive – shrugged, blithely unconcerned.  “Do what ya gotta do, Jen,” he said.  “But if you rip it we’ll just have to spend more time sewing it back up.”  He laughed merrily.  “I mean, exactly how long do you _want_ to be here kissing Jared?”

Jensen had no intention of answering that question.  

Shane finished the last stitch.  “There, all set for the hot man-sex!”  He clapped his hands together.  “This should be hysterical.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?” Jensen asked, trying not to sneer at the kid.  Normally, Jensen found Shane’s flamboyancy harmless and cute.  Today, he kind of wanted to punch him in the face.  

“Oh, pleeeassse!  Two straight boys trying to act hot for each other?”  Shane rolled his eyes.  “You may get your fan’s panties all bunched up but real queers are gonna see right through that shit.  It’s ridiculous.”

Less than twenty-four hours ago, Jensen would have wholeheartedly agreed. Now – not so much.  “You’re faith in our acting ability is underwhelming, Shane.  Thanks.”

“Don’t be pissy, Jen.  It has nothing to do with your—” Shane used the double quotes gesture. Jensen really freakin’ hated the double quotes gesture.  “’—acting ability.’  I’m just saying, you’ll be leaving the real fags totally cold.”  Shane must be allowed to say fag ‘cause he was one.  Good to know.  Shane shrugged and made a pouty mou of his mouth.  “Which is a shame,” he went on.  “Because there sure are a lot of us out there.”

“I’ll bet you fifty bucks you’re wrong.”  Jensen’s brows shot up.  Where had _that_ come from?  “Fifty bucks says your panties will be plenty bunched by the time we’re done.” And he was _still_ talking.  WTF?  

Shane cocked his head.  “Uhh, okay.  But how will you know if you’ve won the bet, smartie?”

Jensen let his eyes drop to Shane’s crotch, his package neatly outlined by the seam of his snug hip-hugger jeans.  “I think I’ll know,” he said.

For the first time in....ever, Jensen saw Shane blush.  He stuck out his hand though, the little trooper.  “You’re on!  Easiest fifty I’ll ever make.”

Jensen shook Shane’s hand, but he wasn’t really paying attention to him anymore.  Jared had just ambled onto the set, and...

Shane whistled long and low.  “Eye candy at twenty paces,” he cooed.  “Maybe this won’t be a _total_ disappointment after all.”

Jared had looked up at the whistle.  He grinned.  Jensen snapped his jaw shut.  

“Like what you see, sweetheart?” Jared asked Shane, laughing as he headed over to join them.

Jensen’s co-star was wearing a pair of cream suede pants – skin-fucking-tight – knee-high combat boots, and nothing else.  The outfit was a polar opposite of Sam Winchester’s customary layers.  His hair wasn’t hanging in face like usual, either.  Oh, no.  It had been tousled back from his forehead to fall in soft waves down to his collarbone.  He looked like he’d just rolled out of someone’s bed, for crying out loud!  And, Jesus, was that eyeliner?  It was subtle, but Jared’s almond eyes definitely looked...smoky.  

Jensen had come twice in past hour.  He _couldn’t_ be getting hard – it was bloody impossible!  Apprehension swept up his spine.  God, he so couldn’t do this.  Not again.  Not in front of fucking _everyone!_ He barely noticed the props guys chaining his wrists down.  Full on panic had set in. __

“Doesn’t matter if _I_ like what I see,” Shane said with a cheesy smirk.  “Though I definitely do.  What matters is, does _Jensen_ like what he sees.  He’s the one who’s going to be making out with you for the next six hours.”  

They both turned to look at Jensen expectantly.

“Oh, for— Why don’t you both fuck off?” Jensen said, trying to sound pissed off instead of scared shitless – trying to look anywhere but at Jared’s make-up enhanced abs.  

Shane laughed, saying something about easy money as he left.  

Jared turned away, too, wearing a funny expression on his face.  He seemed...annoyed?  Frustrated?  Disappointed?  Shit!  How come Jared was so hard to read all of a sudden?  

Just in case he’d accidentally hurt his friend’s feelings – Christ, what bizarro alternate reality was _this_ where Jensen had to be worried about hurting a guy’s feelings just because he hadn’t told him how hot he looked? – ...but still, just in case, Jensen called, “Jay, you look good,” before his friend was out of earshot.

Jared paused, mid-stride, and tossed a smile over his shoulder.  “Glad you think so, Jen.  It’s all for you.” 

What?  

_What??_

_“Places, everyone.  Scene 18, take one – in three, two..._

 

***

 

Jensen struggled madly as Jared – Lucifer – stepped from the deep shadows at the edge of the warehouse, all while trying to keep his torso perfectly still – which was just as difficult as he’d known it was gonna be.  Stupid costume people.

“Mr. Winchester,” Jared said, hands on his hips.  He stopped about three feet away, looking like some sort of pagan sex god.  And yes, Jensen’s cock _was_ rock hard again, thank-you very much.    “Lovely to see you,” the devil said.  “As always.”  

Jared stroked a hand over his own taut stomach – the gesture at once sensual and entirely casual.  Jensen’s eyes tracked the movement, helpless not to.  

“I don’t suppose we could dispense with the torture part of this evening’s entertainment?” Jared asked, his voice sex, drugs, chocolate, and pretty much every other illicit thing in the whole damn world.  “It would be so much easier if you just let Michael in now and saved us both the trouble.  Don’t you agree?” 

“It’s never gonna happen, you bastard!” Jensen said, _his_ voice just as low and raspy as the first time he’d said those words.  Nothing to be done about it; he was lucky he could speak at all.  Jensen had just noticed that Jared’s cock was hard, too.  It was a big, obvious bulge – seeing as how he had no convenient shirttails to hide behind.  

If Jensen could see the rigid outline of Jared’s erection then _everyone_ could see it.  His co-star didn’t appear to give a flying fuck, though, so why should Jensen?  It was just a bit difficult to tear his eyes away from, is all.  

Jared closed the distance between them, every step choreographed eroticism.  When he stopped, his hot, bare chest burned through the single layer of flannel separating their skin.  Right on cue, Jensen started hyperventilating.  His cock flexed, hard and eager.  

Jensen attempted to reason with his penis.  There were _thirty goddamn people_ standing around watching, so just cut it the fuck out! His cock ignored him, cheerfully continuing to throb and drool and generally make a huge nuisance of itself.

Jared leaned down and rubbed his cheek over Jensen’s hair.  When Jensen jerked away, Jared grabbed his chin, tilting his face back up.  His index finger stroked slowly over Jensen’s bottom lip.  “Oh, but it is,” he said, allowing the tip of his finger to dip into Jensen’s mouth.  

Jensen’s tongue slid against it – an inadvertent muscle spasm, surely.  

“Ahhhh,” Jared breathed, almost – but not quite – without making a sound.  For one heart-stopping instant, he pushed deeper into Jensen’s mouth, before abruptly taking his hand back.  “It _is_ going to happen,” he promised again.   

According to the script, the devil was going to pull Dean’s head to the side and lick his neck now.  Jensen’s cock flexed again, nuzzling Jared’s thigh.  Jared answered with a subtle hip roll – but he made Jensen wait for that lick – just a quarter of a second – just long enough for every muscle in Jensen’s body to coil.  

Aaand, _there_ was the neck wrench.

 It hurt.  

It felt great.  

Next came the glide of Jared’s strong, wet tongue.  

Jensen’s ‘Ahh!’ wasn’t nearly as quiet as Jared’s had been.    

“You can’t fight destiny,” Lucifer whispered. 

Jensen waited, heart in his throat, for the bite he _knew_ was coming.  The one that didn’t come.  

Disappointment washed over him and Jensen told himself not to be so stupid.  It was good that Jared was sticking to the script.  It was.  

“Just let Michael in,” the devil encouraged.  “We’ll fight.  The world will end... Or not.”  Jared pulled back a bit to look down into Jensen’s eyes.  His own eyes were dark and strangely...somnolent?  But maybe that was a trick of the flickering orange light.  Much of the lighting for this scene came from fires lit in ten-gallon drums around the warehouse.  “Why not just let it happen?” Lucifer asked, smiling gently.  “You can’t keep fighting forever.” 

“Watch me.”

Jared reached for the knife tucked into the small of his back.  Instead of running it down Jensen’s cheek, he traced the point over Jensen’s lips.  Hmm.  Jared had some kind of oral fixation going on today. 

To test that theory, Jensen’s tongue flicked across his lower lip, tasting the bowie’s steel.  For just an instant, the sleepiness in Jared’s eyes cleared, replaced by a glitter of desire.  Almost at once, though, that sexy gleam faded away.  Jared said his next line right on cue.  The jerk.  

“Alastair tells me torture isn’t very effective on you, Dean.”  

_Now_ the knife rose to trace Jensen’s cheekbone.  Lucifer trailed the blade along Dean’s jaw and then dipped lower to circle his Adam’s apple.  Slightly harder pressure let Jensen know that he’d been cut and he hissed – also right on cue.  So far so good.  

The point of the knife slipped down until it hit Jensen’s first buttonhole.  A flick of Jared’s wrist exposed his collarbone.  Again Jared’s eyes flashed hunger.  And again he seemed to shrug it off.  Jensen swallowed an irritated sigh.  This was going completely different from their rehearsal.  It was just Jensen and Jared doing a scene together, with none of the unexplainable heart-pounding, brain-frying lust that had ripped through them yesterday.  Well, at least not on Jared’s part, anyhoo.  

Jensen had _prayed_ for today to go like this.  Exactly like this.  He’d thought it was what he wanted.  

He’d thought wrong.  

What Jensen _really_ wanted, he finally acknowledged – if only to himself – was for Jared to lose control again.  He wanted to watch his friend come flying apart in his arms again.  Cursing and moaning...perfect muscles straining...

“He said you were a tough guy – that before you broke, you’d actually come to enjoy the pain,” Jared went on, his voice thick and deep, with not even a hint of Texas drawl in it.  

The tiny bud in Jensen’s ear started up, spouting Michael’s lines.

Jared languidly popped the next three nonexistent buttons on Jensen’s shirt and then spread the lapels.  The knife stroked a hard line up the center of Jensen’s chest.  Jared may as well have been buttering bread for all the emotion he showed.  When the blade reached Jensen’s pecs it kept right on going, back up to the bottom of his chin.  Jensen’s nipples were tight, neglected little knots of disappointment.  He groaned.  

Jared’s nostrils flared at the inadvertent sound.  He was half a beat behind on his next line, but Jensen was pretty sure no one else noticed.

“Now...” Jared licked Jensen’s collarbone, making him shudder.  “While Alastair is good – I’m really _so_ much better.  I figure he just didn’t hit on quite the right technique for you, Dean.  Couldn’t find the one thing that would truly break you.”  The knife came to rest against Jensen’s jugular.  “But I think you and I both know what that ‘thing’ is, don’t we?” Jared’s other hand cupped Jensen’s cheek, his thumb stroking over Jensen’s lips once more.  “How long do you think you’ll be able to hold out against this body?” he asked, his tone pleasant and almost inflectionless.  “Your beautiful baby brother’s body.  And, _really_ , is that something you want to find out?”

Now the kiss.  Bring it on, baby.  It was gonna be pretty darn hard for Jared to keep up this aloof crap with Jensen’s tongue shoved down his throat!

But again Jared hesitated.  Only his one hand touched Jensen; the rest of his big body was held as far away as possible – given the circumstances.  

Enough.  Jensen had had enough!  Fuck that the entire crew was watching.  Fuck that Jared was married.  Fuck it _all_.  He pressed the hidden button on his wrist chains a full twenty seconds too soon and surged up hard against his co-star.  

Jared’s brows shot up.  “Je— was all he managed to get out before Jensen’s lips cut him off.

Jensen slipped one hand through Jared’s silky hair, cradling the back of his skull.  His other hand grabbed Jared’s tight, suede covered ass and hauled him in close.  Jared’s shocked stillness lasted only as long as it took for their cocks to grind together, then he groaned and crushed Jensen into the concrete pillar, his tongue hot and greedy in Jensen’s mouth.  

“Cut!”  Phil yelled, sounding annoyed.

Jensen heard him.  Jared must not have, because his roving hands and thrusting tongue kept right on rocking Jensen’s world.

“Jesus Christ!  _CUT!”_

Unfortunately, that one got through.  Jared raised his head and stepped back in one disjointed motion.  His eyes were wide.  

Jensen smirked.  Ha!  That’d teach him.  Exactly _what_ it would teach him, Jensen wasn’t sure, but he was pretty sure that _some_ all important lesson had just been imparted.

“What the _fuck_ was that?”  Phil snapped, marching up to them both.  He smacked Jensen on the shoulder.  “ _You_ completely missed your mark.”  Jared’s shoulder got a thwack.  “And _you_ – it was like watching night of the living dead out here, ferchristsake.”

At Jared’s uncomprehending look, Phil elaborated, “A zombie could have acted that scene better than you did.”

“Oh.”  Jared’s gaze meandered away from the director.  “Sorry.”

Phil frowned and studied him.  Abruptly, he grabbed Jared’s chin and jerked his face down to his own level.  He scowled when a got a good look at Jared’s eyes.  “Are you _high?_ ” 

Jared pulled his face away.  “Of course not!” he denied, his outrage too quick and loud to be anything but bogus.

Jensen took another look at his friend.  _Was_ he high?  That would sure explain a few things.  But Jared didn’t do drugs...  Did he?  I mean, Jensen would _know_ if he did, right?

“You’d better not be,” Phil warned.  “Okay, guys, here’s what we’re gonna do.  We’ll take this scene in three parts.  The first until just before Michael takes over.  Then the kiss.  And finally the bedroom.”  He shook a finger at them.  “And we’re not moving on to the next until we get the first down – so both of you’d better get your shit together.  Hear me?”

“Yep.”

“Sure.”

They sounded like chastened children.

Phil gave them an un-amused look.  “You’ve got ten minutes.  Fix whatever the problem is.  I really _would_ like to get home sometime before midnight.”  

As soon as the boom mike had been pulled back Jensen said, “You _are_ high aren’t you?” He peered up into Jared’s face, seeing the same sleepy bemusement he’d noticed before.  “What the _hell,_ Jay?”

“S’just Valium,” Jared mumbled, arms crossed over his chest, biceps bulging.  The he-man stance was totally at odds with the childish pout curving his lips.  “I took two of Genny’s Valium.  No big deal.”

Jensen snorted.  “Well, apparently it _is_ a big deal, since you’re wasted _._   God, have you ever taken anything stronger than a Tylenol before?”  Jared’s embarrassed silence was answer enough.  Jensen rolled his eyes. “What on Earth would possess you—”

“I thought it would help me keep it together, if you must fucking know!”  Jared cried.  Heads turned.  

Since everyone was looking at them now anyway, Jensen gestured one of the set girls over.  “Could you grab me a— ” He gave his friend a considering look.  “No.  Better make that _two_ Red Bulls.”

“Sure,” she said.  Her gaze darted to Jared.  “Is he gonna be okay?”

Jared threw up his hands.  “I’m fine! Jesu—”

“He’ll be fine,” Jensen said, talking over Jared while giving the girl – whose name he couldn’t quite remember – his most flirtatious smile.  “Go on now, darlin’.  He really does need that caffeine.”

She ducked her head and blushed and Jared growled at her.  Really.  Growled.  Like a dog.

“Fuck.” Jensen grabbed his big canine friend and hauled him away from the poor girl.  “You’re losing it, Jay,” he said, leading Jared into the shadows at the edge of the set.  

Jared sagged against the concrete wall.  “Yeah.  I am.”  He swiped a hand through his hair and speared Jensen with a knowing look.  “But I think you are too...yeah?” he asked.

Jensen rested his shoulder against the wall beside his friend.  “I’m not sure what you mean.” 

Jared turned to face Jensen more fully, his own shoulder against the wall, his body warm and close.  “Why’d you fuck up the scene?” he asked, in a low, intimate voice.  “Why’d you kiss me so soon?

“Wh—I...  I was trying to save you from your spectacularly crappy acting!”

Jared didn’t say anything, just twitched one brow up and waited Jensen out.  

Jensen rubbed the back of his neck – it was his nervous gesture – a blatant ‘tell’ he couldn’t seem to control.  “Actually...that’s sort the truth.  I was just trying to get a reaction.  I didn’t know why you were being so...” Here he trailed off.  ‘Cold’ was what he’d been about to say, but that would have sounded retarded.  Anyone got a tampon?  

“Cold?” Jared asked, finishing his sentence with the right word anyway.  His friend seemed to be above petty macho insecurities.  “Did you want me to be warmer for you, Jen?”  A smile tugged at Jared’s lips as the back of his hand came to rest – feather light – on Jensen’s bare stomach.  His baby finger curled into the waistband of Jensen’s jeans, oh-so-gently encouraging him closer. 

The sad thing was – Jensen went.  God he was easy.  One curled finger was all it took.  

When their hips met, Jared moaned. “You’re driving me insane, you know.”  He pulled Jensen even closer, wrapping his arm around his waist and tucking his face into Jensen’s neck.  His other hand stayed where it was, trapped between them, pressed into Jensen’s stomach just inches above his impatient cock.  “Yesterday you didn’t want me.  Then it seemed like you did – right up until you didn’t anymore.”  His tongue flickered over Jensen’s pulse.  “Today it’s the same shit all over again!  I’m trying to give you what you want, Jen, but I can’t figure out what that _is_.”  He raised his head to take Jensen’s lower lip between his teeth – a brief, sexy bite.  “God!  Help me out here – just tell me what you fucking want!”

Nope.  Sorry.  Jensen couldn’t do that, since he actually had no friggin’ idea what it was he wanted.  Until yesterday he’d _never_ considered being with a man before.  Not even once.  Now – though the logistics of the thing still made his heart stutter and his sphincter clench up tighter than Fort Knox – Jensen couldn’t seem to stop touching a man – this man – Jared – couldn’t seem to stop kissing him, and groping him and _thinking_ about him.   Rationally, Jensen knew that whatever this ‘thing’ was between them it had nowhere to go.  Jared was married –very _happily_ married.  I mean, Jeez, the guy suffered from separation anxiety whenever Genevieve left him alone for more than a few days at a time.  

Jensen answered Jared with a question of his own:  “Why don’t you tell me what _you_ want, Jay?”

There wasn’t even a second’s hesitation before Jared was cupping Jensen’s cock, his deliciously long fingers stroking and squeezing.  Jensen went rigid – and not just in his pants, his whole body stiffened up.  “I think the answer to that question is _painfully_ obvious.” Jared’s free hand curled around Jensen’s nape.  He pulled their mouths together.  “I want _you,_ you idiot.”

Ahh, _here_ was the intensity Jensen had been chasing.  Jared’s kiss was ruthless, voracious...perfect.   

“Fuck, Jen,” Jared moaned.  “I’ve wanted you...so... _fuck._..”  He couldn’t seem to stop kissing Jensen long enough to string a sentence together.  Jensen was probably a large part of the problem, seeing as how he pulled Jared’s head back down whenever he lifted it to speak.

A cough – right beside them – had both men freezing like horny rabbits caught in the headlights of a speeding car.

“Did you still want...umm...”  

With a sinking heart, Jensen turned his head to look at the set girl.  She seemed to be having some sort of epileptic episode, her eyes darting up and down and side to side.  “I got the...uhh...” She thrust out her hands, offering the two sodas.  “Here!” 

Jared sighed and unwound himself from Jensen to accept the cans.  Jensen turned into the concrete wall, leaning his clammy forehead against its nice cool grit.  Christ all mighty!  “Umm, that was...ahh...good, Jay,” he stammered.  “Yeah.  Good rehearsal.” Jensen sounded blustery and fake, even to himself.  “I think you nailed it.”

Jared smoothed a hand down Jensen’s back.  “No.  I haven’t nailed it yet,” he said, laughter vibrating behind the words as his palm dropped lower to grope Jensen’s ass.   

Jensen gasped and whipped around, only to realize that the girl – What the hell was her _name_ again? – had beat a hasty retreat.  Jared popped the tab on the first Red Bull.  He skarfed the entire can in one long, impressive swallow.  When his head came back down and he caught Jensen staring Jared smiled and did that sexy lower-lip-lick thing.  At some point, he must have noticed that it drove Jensen friggin’ _crazy_.  

“ _All right, everyone, enough screwing around.  Places.”_ called Phil.  _“Anyone seen the two morons who are supposed to be starring in this farce?  C’mon!  Places, people!”_

Jared leaned forward and stole one more incredible kiss.  “But I’m going to, Jen” he said, his voice so hot and dark you could pour it over ice-cream.  “Count on it.”

 

TBC

 


	4. Chapter 4

  


Phil was much happier with the boys this time around.  It wasn’t too difficult to discern why. 

Since Jensen was _freaking-the-fuck-out,_ Dean’s anxiety was pretty easy to get across.  In fact, he was surprised Phil didn’t tell him to tone it down.  

_Count on it_ , Jared had said.  There was no ambiguity there – Jared had every intention of fucking him.  It really didn’t help that Jensen was so horny for the man that – for a fraction of a second – he tried to convince himself that maybe, with plenty of lube...  

...God...   

He could still say no.  Nothing was set in stone here.  Problem was, Jensen didn’t trust _himself_ anymore.  His emotions, his libido – which apparently wasn’t nearly as hetero as he’d previously thought – everything was just so fucked up!  Jensen had never been this tied up in knots over someone.  And it had happened so friggin’ fast.  And, Christ, why couldn’t they just blow each other? Oh!  And by the way, Jen, when the _fuck_ did eventhinking something like that become okay?  

So, yeah, full on anxiety attack going on in Jensen’s head equalled great acting coming out of Jensen’s mouth.  Who knew?  

To tell the truth, Phil probably wasn’t even noticing Jensen’s performance, seeing as how all eyes – including Jensen’s own – were riveted on his co-star.

The Red Bulls must have done their job – or maybe it was the hot and heavy with Jensen that woke Jared up.  Whatever it was – the guy was workin’ it.  He was coming across like some fucked up combo of Chippendale dancer and Baryshnikov – all rolling hips and indolent gestures.  Padalecki was going to win _awards_ for this episode.  Jensen couldn’t imagine the devil being played any better by anyone else _._

Oh, and apparently the no improv/adlib agreement had been nixed – since Jared’s hands _and_ mouth were behaving in very illicit and unscripted ways. 

They were on lucky take number thirteen when Jared slipped his knee between Jensen’s legs and pushed up until Jensen’s full weight came to rest on his thigh.  Jensen’s balls, already so tight and full, contracted painfully.  He was scary close to coming, right there on camera – in front of the entire damn world.

“Your beautiful baby brother’s body,” Jared was saying.  He nibbled along Jensen’s jaw to his ear. “And, really, is that something you _want_ to find out?” His tongue flicked inside.  His thigh ground harder between Jensen’s own.  Shit, any second now... 

_“Cut.”_

Jared let Jensen’s body slip down his leg, a leisurely, carefully controlled glide that kept up the pressure right until the last moment.  Jensen choked on a whimper.  “Jay, you gotta cut it out,” he hissed.  “I’m gonna— ”

“Yeah, but see, I _want_ you t—”

“Excuse me, sex machine.”  Shane tapped Jared’s shoulder.  “I need to sew him up again.”

Jared grimaced and stepped back.  His eyes – pupils huge and midnight black – glittered a promise.  He didn’t say a word aloud, however, just walked away, his fabulous ass twitching, swaying...  Jensen left panting...wanting.  

Jensen dropped his head back against the pillar and tried to will himself sane.    

Shane was silent as he worked – uncharacteristically so.  He didn’t even comment on how Jensen’s spastic trembling was making it pretty darn tricky for him to do his job.  “There you go,” he said a minute later.  He patted the last buttonhole and half turned as if to leave, but then turned back around and snapped his fingers. “Riiiight.” He dug something out of his pocket.  “Afraid I’ve only got forty on me,” he said, tucking two twenties into Jensen’s front jean pocket.  “I’ll give you the other ten at the wrap party.”  His finger accidentally brushed Jensen’s cockhead, since it was right fucking there.  Jensen’s hips bucked before he could stop them.

“Wow.  He’s got you hurting pretty bad, huh?”  Shane leaned in conspiratorially to whisper, “You know, every guy in here is hard.  And every girl’s probably wet.  You two are mind-blowing together. It’s like watching porn...” He paused and seemed to consider that statement.  “Only hot,” he ended up qualifying.  “So can I just say, if you don’t take that man home and bang the shit out of him, you’re the biggest fucking idiot in the entire world.”

Jensen flushed red – well, redder than he already was.  So there, that was two votes in favour of letting Jared fuck him senseless – not counting Jensen’s own traitorous body, of course, which was weighing in with a _very_ firm, ‘maybe.’  

Shane watched Jensen’s face, grinning at whatever he saw there. “Ah, young love,” said the kid who was ten years younger than Jensen.  “So sweet.”  Shane gave Jensen’s cheek a friendly pat before brushing past Jared who was stalking back over.

“What’d he have to say?” Jared asked, laying an ultra-possessive hand on Jensen’s neck and scowling at the pretty gay boy’s back.

 Phil joined them, saving Jensen from having to answer the loaded question.  “Okay,” the director said.  “Umm, good work, guys.  Really good.”  His face was kind of...flushed.  

Jensen surreptitiously glanced down to see if Shane was right.  Sure enough, Phil was straining the front of his khakis.  For the first time, Jensen noticed that the crew was totally quiet.  Weird.  In between takes there was usually a cacophony of sound going on.  “We’re going to do one more – from the beginning right through to the kiss,” Phil was saying.  “Then we’ll take a half-hour for lunch.  How’s that sound?”

“Sound’s great,” Jared said, not even bothering to look at the man.  His gaze burned into Jensen.  _In half an hour your ass is mine,_ his eyes vowed.  

Since Jensen didn’t trust his voice enough to speak, he nodded his agreement.  To the lunch idea! – not the ass one.  

One more take.  He could do one more take without embarrassing himself.  _Sure_ he could.  Absolutely.  Then he’d ditch Jared and go jerk off – for, like, the umpteenth time in the past twenty-four hours – and it would all be okay.  Sanity would return.  Everything would be okay.  

Just one more fucking take.

 

***

 

Jensen made it through the first part without coming – despite Jared’s best and very transparent efforts.  He didn’t even blow his cues.  And for that, an award had better be coming _his_ way, too.  Lord knows he deserved one.  

When it was Michael’s turn to play Jensen couldn’t resist a little bump and grind cock-tease of his own – even though fucking with Jared’s head could easily backfire on him, ‘cause if he _did_ succeed in making Jared lose his cool, Jensen would be right behind him.  Still, fair was fair.  Jared had had the upper hand all day.  Fuck that. 

Jensen broke the cuffs and immediately grabbed Jared’s broad shoulders, turning his co-star around and thumping his back into the pillar – not how it was supposed to go, but screw it, if Phil wasn’t going to call Jared on _his_ improv then Jen was free to play too, right?

“Is it war you’re looking for, Luce, or love,” Jensen growled.  “’ I’m confused, brother.”

Far from being taken aback, Jared smirked and opened his arms, encouraging Jensen on.  “Michael,” he purred.  “I’ve missed you.”  

Jensen took Jared’s outstretched hands and wrenched them over his head while, at the same time, kicking Jared’s legs apart and wedging his hips between them.  Jared’s breath hissed between his teeth but his smirk deepened.  ‘Bring it on, babe,’ that haughty lip curl seemed to say.  

“And I you.”  Instead of kissing him like he was supposed to, Jensen went right for Jared’s throat, taking a nice big chunk of skin between his teeth.

“Oh, fu—” Jared moaned.  His left ankle hooked Jensen’s calf as he ground their groins together. 

 Jensen was expecting Phil to yell cut – it was pretty obvious what Jared had been about to say. Didn’t happen, though, so Jensen kept on going.  He gnawed his way down Jared’s throat to his collarbone, and then lower still.  So far, they’d avoided each other’s nipples – except for the few sly tweaks Jared had managed to sneak in.  

Supernatural was PG.  ‘No nipples were played with in the making of this episode,’ may as well be a part of the show’s disclaimer.  

Too freakin’ bad. 

Jensen ran his tongue ‘round and ‘round Jared’s tiny brown nip until it spiked against his lips.  Then he caught the taut nub between his front teeth and tongue-lashed that puppy for all he was worth.  And _still_ Phil didn’t call a halt to the proceedings.  What was up with that?  

Jared let loose with that sexy wolf-whine of his.  The subtle rocking of his hips turned into not so subtle thrusts.  He wrenched his wrists free of Jensen’s hold and grabbed his hair.  “Harder, Jen!” 

Jensen smiled into his friend’s skin and bit harder.  Gotcha, ya cocky bastard!

_“C—”_   Phil cleared his throat and tried again.  _“Cut.”_   There was a collective sigh as the entire crew let out the breaths they’d been holding.  “Jared,” Phil said, jerking his chin at him.  “A word.”

Jared’s fingers slid from Jensen’s hair.  A muscle worked in his jaw, spasming to the same double-time thump as the pulse in his throat.  “Don’t you go anywhere,” he told Jensen, his voice lust-husky and Texas-thick.  “We’re not finished.”  

As soon as Jared’s back was turned, Jensen walked – okay ran – offset.  He started to head for his trailer, but then realized that Jared would look there first, so he switched direction.  He couldn’t deal with Jared when he was like this.  He was too close.  Too raw.  There was no way he’d be able to refuse the man...anything. 

Jensen needed to get somewhere quick, though – right fucking now – because the chafing of his own thighs as he jogged was almost enough to bring him off.

The make-up trailer sat deserted at the opposite end of the row from Jensen’s trailer. Jensen leaped up the three wooden steps and wrenched the door open.  

Inside it was dark and cool, navy-blue curtains drawn against Vancouver’s mid-day sun.  

Jensen’s hands shook so hard he was having trouble undoing his pants.  Before he could accomplish the task the door thwacked open, bouncing off the wall and shaking the whole trailer.  “You listen for shit!” Jared panted.  He must have been running too. “What part of ‘Don’t go anywhere,’ didn’t you get?”  He kicked the door shut and ominously flicked the lock.  

Jensen’s heart climbed his throat.   “Jay—”

Jared didn’t let him finish.  He moved fast – so fast – fisting his hands in the front of Jensen’s shirt and whirling him around.  Jensen slammed into the wall beside the door.  The steel window frame on his left dug into his shoulder, but the fleeting pain faded into irrelevance as Jared’s mouth slanted across his own.  Jared growled against Jensen’s closed lips, his tongue demanding entry.  

Jensen gave up the ghost, opened his mouth, and kissed Jared back with everything he had.  His _mind_ might not be quite up to speed on what Jensen was doing, but his body knew exactly what _it_ wanted. His leg rose, entirely of its own accord, to wrap around Jared’s waist and Jensen’s hips canted forward – a blatant invitation.  

Jared bent his knees and thrust up, the solid ridge of his thick cock rocking hard into the cleft of Jensen’s ass.  

Jensen’s skull smacked the wall.  He groaned.  

Jared groaned right back, biting and sucking at Jensen’s submissively arched throat.  “Fuck,” he said, his tone strained. “You’re gonna have me shooting in my pants again, Jen.”  He tugged Jensen’s open shirt down his arms, his teeth sinking into the apple of Jensen’s shoulder.  “But I’ll be god _damned_ if I’m coming first,” he said, twitching his hips away from temptation.  

Jensen’s hands ended up behind his back, twisted in the green flannel.  He thought his entrapment was accidental until Jared brought the fabric up and over his wrists to tie it off into a knot.  Jensen’s legs tried to buckle when he realized that Jared had bound him on purpose.  His friend’s body became the only thing holding him up.  

Jared’s eyes gleamed in the gloom. “Wanna see you,” he whispered.  “Need to—”  He blindly reached out and grabbed the curtains, his gaze refusing to leave Jensen’s face.  A hard yank on the cheap but strong fabric had the entire curtain rod crashing to the floor.

Jensen hardly even noticed the aluminum rod hitting his arm on the way down.  Now Jared’s eyes were gleaming in the bright, noonday sun.  Jared had gold in his hazel irises – really pretty golden striations.  Funny how Jensen had never noticed that before.

Dust from the felled curtain swirled in the air, looking for all the world like shimmering stardust.  A crow’s raucous caw sounded from somewhere outside the trailer.  Inside, their panting breaths and thumping hearts were the only sounds to be heard.  The moment was surreal – dreamlike and intense.

Jared cupped Jensen’s face like he was made of mist, or sunshine, or something, as if he was afraid Jensen was going to disappear at any second.  His long, fine fingers skimmed over Jensen’s temple, his eyebrows, the fan of his eyelashes; they stroked a delicate line down his nose, cheeks, jaw; they traced a reverent line around his lips.  “God, you’re beautiful,” Jared said, his words coming out on a sigh, his forehead crumpling.  “How can you be so fucking beautiful?”

What a damn stupid thing to say.  Anyway, Jensen might ask the same question of _Jared_.    

Since Jensen had no answer to give to such a retarded question – except the standard ‘good genes’ line – and since Jared’s finger still rested against his lower lip – Jensen opened his mouth, curled his tongue around said finger, and sucked it inside.  Past time to get back to the ‘making him come’ plan.  His balls fuckin’ hurt!

Jared gasped.  His eyes widened and then narrowed as he, too, shook off the strange moment.  Suddenly, he was rough and impatient at Jensen’s belt.  The task might have been made easier if he’d allowed himself the use of both hands, but Jared didn’t seem to want to take back the finger in Jensen’s mouth.  In fact... 

Jared edged in another finger, stretching out the sides of Jensen’s lips.  Jensen took him in all the way, not even gagging when Jared’s fingertips brushed the back of his throat.  Then he pushed his tongue _between_ Jared’s fingers to lap at the sensitive webbing.  

Jared sucked in another shocked breath and promptly choked on it. _“Holy shit!”_ He grabbed his hard-on through his pants, squeezing the base tight and reluctantly, but quickly, took his hand back.  

Jensen’s lips curved in a sly smile.  Jared gave him a shaky laugh.  “I _told_ you, you prick.  Not until you do.”  

Like magic, Jensen’s belt came undone.  The button on his jeans followed.  When his zipper slowly – too slowly – came down, the smile fell off Jensen’s face.

Jared pressed a quick, hard kiss to Jensen’s lips and tugged his jeans down past his hips, but left his white underwear where it was.  “When you come,” he whispered.  “I wanna hear you scream my name.”  Jensen’s breath hitched.  It was Jared’s turn to smile.

Jared’s mouth wandered down Jensen’s torso.  He spent long, loving minutes at each of Jensen’s nipples, pulling the stiff nubs between his teeth until they were purple with blood and so achingly sensitive every lick had Jensen writhing.  Cursing.  Begging.

Jensen’s head lolled against the wall.  He battled the flannel binding his wrists but either Jared was a flannel tying genius or – more likely – Jensen was just stupidly lust-clumsy.  “Goddamnit, Jay,” he moaned, as Jared fell to his knees.  “Quit fucking around!”  He thrust his hips forward, but couldn’t achieve any satisfactory friction since Jared kept twisting away.

Jared chuckled and nipped the quivering muscles of Jensen’s stomach.  “Patience is a virtue,” he berated, swirling his tongue into Jensen’s belly button.  Finally, _finally,_ his mouth came over Jensen’s cotton-covered cock.  Keeping eye contact, Jared stuck out his tongue and gave Jensen a flat-tongued, lollypop lick through his underwear. 

It wasn’t enough.  Not near enough.  And the beautiful bastard knew it!  Jensen wrenched at the fabric wrapped round his wrists, giving it his all.  His arms got bruised up, and his shoulder almost dislocated, but the cloth did give.  His costume tore in half with a loud, violent sound.

 “Phil’s gonna kill you,” Jared said, grinning ear to ear.

“Ask me if I fucking care.”  Jensen fisted a hand in Jared’s coifed hair, taking secret satisfaction in messing it up.  His other hand yanked out his dick.  He was so turned on his teeth were chattering, clicking together in time with the shivers wracking his body.

“Do you fucking care?” Jared breathed, just before his tongue flicked out to lap up a dollop of pre-come.  His fingers came to rest over Jensen’s, encouraging Jensen’s palm to move on his own stiff flesh.

Jensen’s, ‘No!’ turned into a, “Nnngh!”  The temptation to yank Jared forward – to just bury himself balls deep in his friend’s mouth – was wicked high.  But chicks hated that, so probably Jay would too.

“Got quite the sexy Darth Vader thing goin’ on, Jen,” Jared purred, between swipes of his tongue.  He was referring to the helmet-like flare of Jensen’s glans.  When his teeth caught on the pronounced ridge Jensen had to brace himself against the doorjamb.  Damn legs were useless today.  “I’ll bet you make—”

“Christ you talk a lot,” Jensen groaned.  

Jared’s eyes twinkled.  He licked his lips, real obvious and slow.  “So make me shut up,” he suggested.  His gaze dropped to Jensen’s weeping cock and then rose again.  “I’m sure you have _something_ —”

Oh, that was so it!  Jensen pushed himself into Jared’s mouth, watching closely to make sure it was okay.  He might be insanely horny, but he wasn’t a complete asshole.  Jared’s eyelashes fluttered closed.  He grabbed Jensen’s ass and pulled him nearer still, moaning around his mouthful as his nose met Jensen’s pubic hair.  Guess it was okay.

Man, the way Jared _looked_.  His mouth so hot and pink and lush around Jensen’s cock; his cheeks shadowed hollows in the white-bright light; his long lashes feathery-thick, chocolate-black crescents on his sun-kissed skin. The guy was a total dumbass.  _He_ was the beautiful one in this equation.  Then there was the way Jared was palming his own impressive erection through his pants while moaning and slurping over Jensen’s...I mean, really, _no one_ had the right to look that sexy – it simply wasn’t fair to everyone else.  

It occurred to Jensen, somewhere way in the back of his head where the words – Fuck! and God!  and Jay!  weren’t running on an endless, looping spiel – that Jared was entirely too adept at this. That friggin’ tongue-thrum thing he was doing every time Jensen pulled back was just too goddamned brilliant to be anything other than learned.

Jensen’s back arched.  His toes tried to curl inside his sneakers.  Crap.  He’d wanted to last longer – like forever – but it wasn’t going to happen.  “Jay,” he warned, loosening the vice-like grip he had on his friend’s head.  “I’m gonna—”

“Go for it, gorgeous,” Jared took his mouth away long enough to say.  

Then he was back, sucking so hard, his tongue fucking thrum-thrumming.   Jensen’s teeth tore through his bottom lip in an attempt to stop himself from crying out.  His body tensed, the pleasure shooting up his spine to explode behind his eyelids.  Just as the first exquisite pulse hit, Jared’s hand crept between Jensen’s legs.  His big palm pressed Jensen’s balls up into his body and his fingers stroked over Jensen’s perineum.  One hard stroke – from asshole to ballsac.  

Jensen lost the battle with his voice.  “ _Jesus Christ!_ ” he hollered, startling a bunch of birds from the tree outside the trailer.  

Jared swallowed – and kept right on swallowing – his long throat milking Jensen so damned _good_.  The man was a blowjob _God!_

Eventually, Jensen lost the battle with his legs too and slid, boneless, down the wall.  His cock made a lewd popping sound as it left Jared’s too-good-to-be-true mouth.  “Jesus,” Jensen gasped again.

“No, _Jared_ ,” Jared said, wrapping his arms around Jensen and pulling him in between his knees. He pressed a kiss to Jensen’s sweaty temple.

“Huh?” was Jensen’s highly intelligent reply.  He couldn’t even muster the energy to protest the fact that he was sitting bare-assed on a dirty floor being cuddled like a girl.  Aftershocks kept racing across his skin, raising gooseflesh and making him tremble.  Jensen laid his cheek against Jared’s broad chest and rode them out in a blissful, fucked-out, daze of contentment.

Jared’s chuff of laughter was felt more than heard.  “I wanted you to scream _my_ name, Jen, not Jesus Christ’s.”

“Next time,” Jensen mumbled, curling in closer to Jared’s wonderful warmth.  “Promise.”  It was when Jared’s heart sped up under his ear that Jensen realized what he’d said.  Ah, damn.  

He lifted his head to find Jared looking at him with a soft, utterly adoring smile on his face.  It was a smile Jensen had often seen Jared give Genevieve when he was, as he said: ‘feeling the big love.’  Jensen had never expected to see it directed at himself.  Never mind that Jensen’s own heart kicked into overdrive to be the recipient of such an amazing smile.  Just never fuckin’ mind!   

Double-damn.  Shit.  May as well throw a _Fuck!_ in there too.  This entire situation was way out of control!  

When Jared leaned in to kiss him, Jensen noticed that, besides a beautiful smile, Jared was also wearing a dribble of come on his chin.  Without even thinking about it, Jensen swiped it off with his thumb.  But then he didn’t know what to do with his thumb.  So Jensen kind of held it up and looked at it, like he’d seen never seen come, or a thumb, before.  

Hey, wanna know the recipe for stupid?  Take some logic defying lust, add an orgasm to beat _every other damn orgasm_ he’d ever had _,_ and then – at the last second – toss in a dash of unexpected love.

Jared chuckled and brought Jensen’s hand to his mouth.  The rasp of his tongue made Jensen’s cock twitch with fatigued interest. Fuckidy-fuck-fuck.  

An amber light popped on over the door, letting the stars know that filming would resume in five minutes.  It was a true saved by the bell...err, light... situation.

Jensen crawled awkwardly off Jared’s lap.  He was blushing as he stood to pull up his pants.  Dumb, but true.  

Jared rose as well, much more graceful than Jensen had been.  Jensen winced when he saw the poor guy’s still outrageously apparent hard-on.  “Umm.  Do you want me to...” His voice cracked.  Jensen just couldn’t finish that sentence out loud.  

Contrary to what you might expect – the problem wasn’t that Jensen _didn’t_ want to take Jared’s cock in hand, mouth...whatever.  Not at all.  The problem was that he so badly _did._

Jared glanced down and his smile turned sardonic.  “You bet I do.  Desperately.”  He bent to retrieve Jensen’s now useless shirt and handed it over with a shrug.  “But being horny seems to help with my ‘spectacularly crappy acting,’ so...”

Jensen's lips twitched.  “There’s that,” he agreed, pleased that they could still joke around.  Maybe everything wasn’t quite as messed up as he’d thought.

“Hey...are you okay?” Jared stroked big, gentle palms up Jensen’s arms.  He ended up with his hands resting on Jensen’s shoulders, thumbs sweeping the sides of his throat.  “Are _we_ okay?” His eyes flicked back and forth between Jensen’s own as he waited on his friend’s – lover’s? Gah! – answer.

The light over the door turned from amber to green – meaning Phil was no doubt flipping outback on set.  Jensen pulled his friend into a hug.  “Sure we are,” he said, burying his nose in Jared’s neck and taking a deep breath of his musky-sweet scent.  God he loved the way this man smelled.  “’Course we are.”

Jared rocked his cheek against Jensen’s hair.  “I hope so,” he whispered, squeezing Jensen so hard it became difficult to breathe.  

   

TBC

 

 


	5. Chapter 5

  


They made it through the final scene in just under three hours – even with the forty-five minutes it took to put the boys back together.  

Funny how no one said anything about that.  Normally, Phil lost his shit over _any_ delay while filming, but when the stars had shown up ten minutes late, looking like they’d been in a friggin’ bar brawl, the director had just rolled his eyes and called in the team to, _“Fix it.  Now!”_

Sarah entirely redid their make-up – since most of it had been either licked or sweated off – and Shane made it so you couldn’t even tell Jensen’s costume had been torn.  The kid was a sewing _ninja_.  Shane also cleaned the knees of Jared’s pants without even _one_ sarcastic comment about how they’d gotten so dirty in the first place.  He did smirk and cast meaningful glances at Jared’s erection the whole time, though.  

Bah.  Whatever.  

That’s what confidentiality agreements were written into contracts for, right?  Everyone on the crew may suspect their asses off, but no one really knew if Jensen and Jared were fooling around off camera.    No one _knew_ a damn thing.  

And Jensen wanted to keep it that way; which was why when Phil yelled, _“Cut.  That’s a wrap, people!”_ he instantaneously pried Jared’s hands off his ass and rolled away.  

Jared was messed up.  It was obvious.  His breath was coming in gulps, every muscle was rigid, and he was doing that teeth-bared/jaw-clenched thing – the one he did when he was just seconds away from losing it.  Scary how Jensen knew that about him, come to think of it.  

Jensen held out his hand to help Jared off the bed when – abruptly – the silence onset erupted into clapping.  There was a babble of congratulatory voices:  

“Seemed totally real.”  

“Amazing work.”  

“Can’t believe you guys did it!”

“ _Nailed_ that shit!”  

Jensen slipped on an ‘Aw, shucks’ grin.  “All in a day’s work, folks,” he said with a bow.  “Let it never be said two straight guys can’t pull off a smokin’ hot sex scene.”  He caught Shane’s gaze as he said it and the little bastard winked.  

Jensen tossed a wink back at him – why not? – then turned to check out how his co-star was doing.

Jared was standing there looking...preoccupied?  His shoulders were hunched, as if he was in pain.  Hell, he probably _was_ in pain.  His balls had to be a pretty interesting shade of blue by now.  Jensen gave his friend’s arm a squeeze, silently warning him to pull it together.  

Jared managed to put on a strained, closed-lip smile, but he didn’t say anything to anyone, just started moving through the crowd, pulling Jensen along behind him.

“Uh.  Excuse us,” Jensen said, his face bright red.  He was being hauled away like an errant child, for God’s sake.  “Be right back.”  

He didn’t get a chance to bitch his friend out about it.   As soon as they rounded the first corner, Jared crushed him up against the wall.  “I’m _dying_ , Jen,” he groaned, between hot, open-mouthed kisses.    “Fuck.  I need—”

Jensen successfully defied the urge to melt into a boneless puddle and instead gave Jared a shove, sending his friend back a step.  “Not here!”

First Jared was surprised.  Then he was hurt. 

Ah, Padalecki was readable again.  At that precise instant, Jensen kind of wished he wasn’t.  He hated seeing that expression on his friend’s face.  And hated even more that he’d put it there.

Even though discretion was definitely in order – a fact Jared didn’t seem to have grasped yet –  Jensen moved in close once more.  “Not here, Jay,” he said again in a gentler tone, taking Jared’s face between his hands.  “My place.  Twenty minutes.  Okay?”

Relief flashed in Jared’s eyes.  He turned his head and pressed a kiss into Jensen’s palm.  “No, _my_ place.  I have to let the dogs out.”  He gave Jensen that beautiful, heart-breaking smile of his. “Don’t keep me waiting, Gorgeous.  I may not make it.”

 

***

 

Jensen rushed through his shower and was en-route to Jared’s house in less than ten minutes, streaks of make-up still coloring his skin, his dress shirt only half done up.  

When his cell started singing Crazy Town’s ‘Butterfly’ Jensen was so startled he almost took out a parked car.  Butterfly was Dani’s song.  He didn’t answer and after five rings the call went through to voice mail.  A morbidly cheerful ‘chirp’ sounded a few seconds later, letting Jensen know his girlfriend had left a message. 

Oh, God. Oh, God, oh, God, oh, God! 

In the interest of not accidentally killing anyone, Jensen pulled over. 

After a few painful seconds of the ‘should he-shouldn’t he’ game, Jensen fished the phone out of his pocket and flipped it open.  

_“Hey, sexy.  Guess you’re not done filming yet.  Lucky you!”_  His girlfriend – fiancée, if you wanted to get technical about it – laughed.  It was a normal, happy sound, completely at odds with the dread crawling up Jensen’s spine.  “ _I did try to get the weekend off so I could make your guys’ wrap party, but no go.  Sorry.  It was a long shot anyway.  But, hey, I can’t wait to see you on Tuesday.  And then we’ll have three whole weeks together.  Yay!  I booked us that room again._ Another laugh, this one huskier – more intimate.  _Maybe we can top our record for consecutive days in bed, huh?  Love you tons.  Can’t wait to see you!  Give me a call when you’re through – I’m dying to know how the shoot went.  Bye._

Jared’s voice whispered through his head: _“_ I’m _dying!”_

Jensen dropped his skull against the steering wheel, thwacking an imprint of leather into his forehead.  What the hell was he _doing_?  He was supposed to be married in a year.  He’d planned to ask Jared to be his best man, for God’s sake!  How the _fuck_ could they to do this and then carry on as if nothing had happened?  The answer, of course, was they couldn’t.  

But maybe...

No.  

Another head thwack.  He might never get that imprint out. 

No!

It was time to pull back.  To just get it _together_ already _._   Jensen didn’t fuck around when he was in a committed relationship, and he didn’t believe Jared would either – if he was thinking straight – which, apparently, neither of them were.  

What they needed to do was put the last two days completely behind them.  Pretend like they’d never happened.

So, okay.  Right _now_ that might seem pretty freakin’ impossible; what with the memory of Jared’s hands all over Jensen’s body still so fresh.  

His taste.  

His smell.  

The way he’d looked swallowing Jensen’s cock... 

“Fuck!”  Jensen punched the dashboard, scaring some poor old woman walking beside his car shitless.  

Time apart.  Time way, way apart would fix _everything_.  Luckily, the show was on hiatus now.  If Jensen left today, he wouldn’t have to see Jared again for a whole month.

He didn’t bother checking, so it was handy that no one got in Jensen’s way as he pulled a squealing U-turn in the middle of the street.  Jared’s car hadn’t been in the parking lot when he’d left.  Assuming his friend was only a few minutes ahead of him, Jensen had about half-an-hour before Jared started to wonder where he was.  If he hauled ass he could get home, throw a duffel bag together, and be on his way to the airport before that happened.  

Dani would be surprised to see him four days early.  And he’d have to miss the wrap party tomorrow.  But in order to save his and Jared’s friendship, it was an insignificant sacrifice to make.  This was the right thing to do.  

The _only_ thing to do.   

 

***

 

Jensen hadn’t taken Friday afternoon traffic into account.  

It was exactly forty-six minutes before he threw open his apartment door.  Panic fluttered in his chest like a big-winged bird.  Just throw some shit in the duffel and get out had become his mantra: Get the shit.  Get out.  Get the shit.  _Get out!_

He was expecting his phone to ring any second now.   

Without bothering to take off his shoes, Jensen raced down the hall to his bedroom.  He crossed the cream carpet in three strides, threw open the closet doors, and grabbed his leather duffel from the top shelf. 

The bedroom door slammed shut behind him and Jensen’s heart stuttered.  He whirled around.

Jared was lounging in a chair in the corner of the room – a big black club chair.  He twirled the spare key Jensen had given him on the tip of one finger.  The guy was still in full costume and make-up.  Which is to say, he was still half-naked and gorgeous.  His back was against one arm of the chair.  His long legs hooked over the other.  Those legs were blocking Jensen’s only exit.

“You’re so predictable, Jen.”  Jared’s tone was calm, casual even, but his eyes glittered with what could only be pain.  “I was about to get in the shower – wanted to be nice and clean for you – when I noticed what time it was.”  He swung his legs to the floor and stood up.  Jensen's friend looked ready to murder someone.  One guess who that someone was.  “After that, I didn’t even stop to change – just ran for the car, because I _knew_ I had to get here before you did or you’d disappear on me.” 

Jared stalked closer.  

Every forward step he took had Jensen backing up the same distance.  

“See, you’re not the only one who’s predictable,” Jared said.  “Dani calls you every day at four.  I’d somehow forgotten that – blame it on the lack of blood to my brain.”  

The wall announced its presence to Jensen’s back.  

“If I _had_ remembered—” Jared said, stepping in close and tearing the duffel’s protection away from Jensen’s chest.  The bag landed on his nightstand, knocking over a lamp.  Neither man paid any attention to the sound of breaking glass.  “—I never would have let you out of my sight.  I’d have ripped that phone out of your hand the fucking _second_ it rang.”  

Jensen raised his palms to Jared’s pecs and attempted to push him back.  All he ended up doing was groping a handful of hard muscle. The man was immovable.  When he went to snatch his hands away, Jared caught his wrists and slammed them into the wall above their heads.  

“You said we were okay,” Jared whispered, leaning into Jensen’s body.  His breath was hot in Jensen’s ear as his tongue flicked out to taunt Jensen’s earlobe.  “If that’s true, then why are you running from me?” 

Jensen’s eyes fell closed as he tried to remember the all-important answer to Jared’s question.  “Because I love Dani,” he said on a gasp.  “And you love Genny.  This isn’t right, Jared.  You must know that.” 

 “Yeah.  I _do_ love Genny.”  Jared nibbled his way to the sweet spot just behind Jensen’s ear – the one he always seemed able to find so damned easy.  Jensen bared his neck.  

Now, see!  _This_ was why he’d been trying so hard to get away – as soon as Jared touched him Jensen lost any semblance of self-control!  

Jared’s hands clenched, white-knuckled, around Jensen’s wrists. He rocked their hips together – suede slipping against denim.  “But I loved you first, Jen,” he said, his voice fraying.   “So, frankly, I don’t give a _shit_ if it’s right or not!”  

Jensen stopped breathing.  Jared really loved him?  Had loved him _first,_ even?  Jesus Christ, how had he never clued in to that? 

Suddenly, Jensen was airborne, scooped up in Jared’s arms as if he weighed nothing at all.  Since he was 6’-1”, and close to a hundred and seventy-five pounds, being picked up like a chick sort of pissed him off.  Jensen bit his tongue, though.  No need to sweat the small shit.  Jared was upset enough right now.  

Jared carried Jensen to the bed, dropped him none-too-gently on the thick, black bedspread, and then immediately lowered his greater weight down on top of him.

“Jay, listen—”

 “Shut up.”  Jared pressed his palm to Jensen’s mouth.  He bowed his head and was silent for a long moment before saying, “When I read the script I couldn’t help but laugh.  You were freaked out about it – I knew you would be – but for me it wasn’t a disaster.  I figured doing the scene would cure me of you once and for all.” His head came down even lower so he could nuzzle under Jensen’s chin.  “You’d be disgusted,” he whispered, suckling Jensen’s throat.  “It would be awful and awkward.”  He swirled his tongue around Jensen’s Adam’s apple.  “And I’d finally, _finally,_ be able to let this bullshit fantasy of mine go.” Then he raised his head and looked directly into Jensen’s eyes.  “But it wasn’t awful, and you _weren’t_ disgusted...were you?” 

No point in lying.  Jared knew exactlyhow un-disgusted Jensen had been...and still was.  Hell, he was rocking his hips against Jensen’s concrete-hard lack of disgust right now.  

Since Jared’s hand still covered his mouth, Jensen just shook his head.

“No,” Jared said.  “You weren’t.”  His palm slipped away from Jensen’s lips to smooth back the hair at his temple.  “What was I supposed to think?” he asked, his expression pissed off and puzzled and poignant all at once.  “Even after the rehearsal I was prepared to let it go.  I tried to reason it away.  Jesus, Jen! I gave you an easy out – and what the fuck did you do?”

Jensen’s whole body blushed.  Well, he’d—  

“You practically raped me onset,” Jared said, answering his own question, “and then begged me to suck you off.”

Yep.  That pretty much summed it up.

“If you didn’t want this then...”  Jared’s forehead crumpled.  “Then what the _fuck_ , Jensen?”

“I’m sorry.”  Jensen wrapped his arms around Jared’s broad shoulders and pulled his friend’s face back into his throat.  So much easier to explain without having to look at Jared’s miserable, beautiful face.  “It’s not that I don’t want you, Jay.  It’s just that I don’t think it’s fair to the girls and...” He paused, then continued in a rush.  “...and I’m not gay!” he blurted out.  “I don’t even know if I could...  I mean, I’ve never...” 

Jared’s shoulders quaked.  For one horrifying instant Jensen thought his friend was crying.  His own eyes misted.  Fuck this was hard.  Then he heard the sniggers.  Jensen pushed Jared away far enough to see his expression.  “Are you laughing at me?”  Stupid question.  He clearly was.

Jared lifted himself straight-armed above Jensen, which only served to press their lower halves more firmly together.  “I get it.”  He grinned.  “You’re afraid to take it up the ass.”  His eyes sparkled.  Damn he was mercurial. Angry.  Sad.  Amused – when this so wasn’t funny!

Jensen’s own temper flared.  He gave Jared a mighty shove.  Jared fell to the side, a toppled giant, but he kept his leg firm over Jensen’s thighs.  Jensen sat up anyway, not able to go anywhere, but needing the height advantage.  

Jared sat up as well; one leg behind Jensen’s back, the other possessively arced over Jensen’s legs. “Well, then,” he said, a smile on his lips as he gathered Jensen close – this being cuddled thing was way too easy to get used to.  “I guess I’ll just have to suck it up and take it like a man, huh?”  He used a single finger to turn Jensen’s face towards him.  “If we even go that far.”  Jared’s lips smoothed across Jensen’s – left to right – right to left.  The slick, feather-light glide was erotic as hell.  Jensen found himself leaning into Jared’s mouth, desperate to deepen the contact.  “Why don’t we just see what happens?”  Jared breathed.  “No expectations.  No pressure.”  He pulled back the tiniest amount to catch Jensen’s gaze.  “Can we do that?  Even if it’s only for tonight?”    

Jensen should say no.  Neededto say no...  

“Please, Jen” Jared said, his voice catching on Jensen’s name. He dropped his eyes, but not before Jensen saw the sheen in them.  “Please,” he said again.  “Just let me have one night.”    

...

...

Jared’s shoulders slumped.  He began to back away, his jaw flexing, his lips so tight they looked colorless. 

...crap.

Jensen leaped, pushing Jared down flat on the bed.  “One night,” he agreed, as his lips slanted across his startled friend’s. 

 

***

 

Straight away, Jared rolled them over and straddled Jensen’s body.  He made a clumsy attempt to undo the first button on Jensen’s shirt, cursed the miniature Nazi buttons vehemently, and then grabbed the shirt’s collar and yanked.  Teeny-tiny missiles flew everywhere.  “I’ll buy you a new one,” he groaned, lowering his mouth to the golden skin of Jensen’s chest.

Jensen raked his fingers through Jared’s hair. He had a huge lick-shit grin on his face – Lord knows why.  “You’d better.”

Jared’s tongue danced over Jensen’s torso, seeming to be everywhere at once: on his throat, on his shoulders, on his pecs and – at last – on his nipples.  

Jensen melted into the mattress as Jared assaulted flesh already sensitized almost beyond bearing.  “God, I fucking _love_ your mouth,” he gasped, pressing up into the amazing sensation of having his nipple both gnawed on and sucked at the same time.  Talent is what that was.  Pure, God-given, talent.

Jared groaned, the sound so low it was barely human.  “And I fucking _love_ hearing you say that.”  

It took about three seconds for Jared to get Jensen undressed.  He just manhandled Jensen into the positions he needed to get the job done.  When Jared went after his underwear, Jensen caught his friend’s hands between his own – not because he didn’t want to get naked with the guy, but because Jared was getting _way_ too frantic.  His friend was seriously close to losing his shit; and while it was sexy as all hell to see, it was also a little intimidating. Okay, a lot intimidating.  The guy was 6’-5” and weighed over two-hundred pounds, for fuck’s sake.   

“Hey...” Jensen sat up to steal a soft, calming kiss. “We have all night, Jay.  Slow down.” 

Jared accepted the press of Jensen’s mouth without making any move to return the favour.  He was shaking so hard the entire bed shook with him.   When Jensen leaned back, Jared raised his face to the ceiling.  His body had become very still.  “Got any handcuffs?  he asked, his tone just this side of desperate.

Surprise made Jensen’s eyebrows shoot up into his hairline.  His expression must have been pretty comical because when Jared caught a glimpse of it he started to laugh.  The tension in his body eased.  

“No?”  Jared clucked his tongue and shook his head.  “I _knew_ we should have gone to my place,” he complained, stroking a gentle finger down Jensen’s cheek.  “Okay then, how ‘bout a couple of old ties – you’ve got some of those, right?”

“Umm.  Yeah.”  

Jared wanted to be tied up?

... 

_Awesome!_

Jensen had only played at bondage a couple of times, but he’d done it enough to know he liked it.  

Damn.  Now _he_ wished they’d made it to Jared’s too.   

“Go get ‘em,” Jared ordered, nudging Jensen towards the edge of the bed.

Jensen obediently slipped off the mattress and walked to the closet, visions of a cuffed Jared dancing through his mind.  He grabbed four ties completely at random – three of which happened to be raw silk and had cost him well over a hundred dollars.  

But who the hellcared?

When Jensen turned back around Jared had one leg up on the bed, undoing the complicated laces on his combat boot, and the other leg – still booted – down on the floor.  His long, dark hair shone in the subdued light falling through Jensen’s butter-yellow blinds.  That same soft radiance shimmered over his skin, caressing his muscles with amber highlights and smoky shadows.  Jared was still wearing Sam’s tattoo over his heart, still wearing Lucifer’s too-tight pants, but the man looked wholly angelic.  He friggin’ _glowed._

Jared glanced up and froze.  Jensen watched his pupils dilate from clear across the room, a sudden, sexy flash of black.   “Jen, if you keep staring at me like that ‘slow’ is no longer going to be an option.”

 Jensen shrugged.  “Sorry.  I can’t help it.  You look amazing.”

“Fuck.”  Jared slapped his palms over his eyes and fell back onto the mattress.  “You’re _killing_ me.  Get over here and tie me up before I rape your stupid, gorgeous ass.”

Following direction was something Jensen did well.  It was his job, after all.  “ _You_ have a stupid, gorgeous ass,” he muttered, as he finished securing Jared’s wrists to the posts of his bed.  There wasn’t any slack.  Hopefully it would hold.

Jared threw back his head and laughed.  Jensen knew he was wearing that dumbass, shit-licking grin again.  He couldn’t seem to shake the darn thing loose.  

While Jared was still sniggering, Jensen undid the laces on his other boot and slipped them both off.  Jared’s socks came next.  Jensen admired Jared’s long, but weirdly pretty, feet for a second, and then crawled up his friend’s body.  Fingers shaking only slightly, he popped the button on Lucifer’s pants.  Jared stopped laughing but he didn’t say anything.  He just watched Jensen through heavy-lidded, half-closed eyes.  Jensen eased down the zipper and with a whispered, “Lift your hips,” shimmied the suede down to Jared’s knees.  ‘Taz’ – a.k.a the Looney Tunes Tasmanian devil – slavered up at him from Jared’s crotch.  

“Very sexy, Jay.”  

“Says the guy in the tighty-whities.” Jared’s dimples made a brief appearance.  

Jensen’s thumbs eased below the underwear’s waistband.  His hands were shaking more than slightly now.  Jared’s teeth caught at his lower lip. “Wait,” he said.  “Hang on.”  

Jensen glanced up, confused.  Hang on?  Was he serious?  

“You’ve never done this before, have you?” Jared asked.

“I’ve taken off a pair of underwear or two in my time.”  Jensen had been trying to keep the mood light, but his voice came out too deep, too edgy.  

“Mmm, hmm.  How ‘bout we stick with the ‘slow’ plan for now.  Okay, smart-ass?”  Jared’s smile took any sting out of the words.

Trying not to feel relieved, Jensen let the elastic go.  He pressed a quick kiss to Jared’s hipbone and had already moved past the spot when the tiny, breathy sound his friend had made belatedly registered.  Jensen reversed the trail he was blazing up Jared’s stomach to explore the area again.

When Jensen swiped at the sexy ridge with his tongue, Jared’s hips twitched.  “Jen—”  

Jensen didn’t bother to wait for Jared to finish his sentence.  He just set his teeth against the bone and bit.  It’s not like he hadn’t known what Jared was going to say – guy always begged for the same damn thing.  

Jared choked.  His body twisted and his cotton covered cock scraped along Jensen’s jaw.  Even through the fabric it was so hot, so hard, like an oven-baked brick.  Jensen rubbed his cheek against it and continued to gnaw on Jared’s hipbone.

 “You’re right," Jared gasped, thrusting his groin toward Jensen’s face.  “Fuck slow.  Put your mouth on me.”

“Now, now.  Patience is a virtue,” Jensen reminded.  “And all that crap.”

Jared’s head thumped the pillows.  Once.  Twice.  “You’re such an asshole!”

“Be nice.”  Jensen gave Jared’s inner thigh a slap.  

Jared’s reaction was intense.  He groaned from somewhere way down deep inside his chest and tried to widen his legs for more; but cream suede still bound his thighs.  It was a problem Jensen was quick to remedy.  “How long until you see Genny again?” he asked, breathless.  He could come just from watching Jared like this – tied up and so damned _horny_.  

Jared raised his head at the odd note in Jensen’s voice.  “On Monday I’m off to see the family for a week, then I’m gonna hook up with her in Paris.  Why?” He shifted back so that his head and shoulders rested against the headboard.

Jensen shifted back as well.  He sat up between Jared’s spread legs and spread them even farther, pushing them far to the side.  “Well,” he said, running his nails up Jared’s inner thighs.  “I’ve already marked you up pretty bad, so I guess I’m wondering how much more damage I can do.  You have ten days then?”  His nails raked back down, hard enough to leave welted red lines.  “How fast do you heal?” 

Jared’s breath hitched.  He tossed his hair out of his eyes and gave Jensen the sexiest come-and-get-it smile he’d ever seen – on a man _or_ a woman.  “Fast enough.”  

Jensen would like to think his own smile was equally sultry.  Without a word, he lowered his mouth to Jared’s right thigh.  First, his tongue came out to play, a teasing sweep that started at Jared’s kneecap and ended with the leg of his boxers all bunched up and Jensen’s lips pressed into the spot where thigh met groan.  Then, Jensen raked his teeth over the sensitive crease.  He held Jared’s hips down in anticipation of his response.  

Jared didn’t disappoint.  He whined.  He shuddered.  He strained against Jensen’s arms.  “Harder,” he begged.  “Please, baby.  I—”

Jensen moved down half an inch and bit harder.  He wondered if Jared realized he’d called him baby.  And he wondered why he’d kind of _liked_ being called baby.  As he wondered these things, Jensen continued to gnaw his way down Jared’s thigh, leaving pretty red crescents in his wake.  When he got to the bottom of that leg he switched to the other and started back up.  He was losing the battle with Jared’s hips; the angle was bad and Jared was too bloody strong.

“Fuck, Jen,” Jared moaned.  He’d been moaning it for a while now, that litany that drove Jensen wild.  “I don’t—I think—Fuck!”  He tried to twist away.  “Stop!  Just...just give me a minute.”

Instead of doing that, Jensen shifted up and opened his mouth over Jared’s cartoon covered cock.  Jared tried to writhe away again but Jensen’s arms were hooked over his thighs, holding on strong.  

When Jensen tightened his jaw muscles, catching Jared’s cockhead gently but firmly between his front teeth, Jared’s body spasmed.  “Oh, you prick,” he groaned.  “If you make me come like this I’ll kill you.”

Jensen took his teeth away, but only so he could yank Jared’s underwear down.  

All the spit in his mouth dried up.  

It wasn’t like he hadn’t _known_ Jared was big – but, somehow, his friend’s monster erection had seemed a lot less threatening when covered by a Tasmanian devil.  Jared’s cock was engorged with blood, the skin shining like purple-red satin.  The tiny slit in his glans gaped as pre-come pulsed out with metronomic regularity.  It reminded Jensen of that geyser in Yellowstone Park – Old Faithful – it pulsed just like this right before it blew sky fuckin’ high.

Okay, there _was_ a second of hesitation.  I mean, c’mon, Jensen had never been this close to another guy’s junk before, but then Jared whispered, “I understand if you can’t use your mouth.”  He was panting for breath and clearly trying very hard not to shove himself between Jensen’s lips.   “But maybe your hand?” 

That kind of sounded like a challenge...didn’t it?  Well fuck that.  Anything Jared could do, Jensen could do too.  

When Jensen tickled his tongue up the underside of Jared’s shaft, Jared’s head banged into the oak headboard.  It sounded painful.  Jensen lifted his eyes to make sure his friend was okay, while still trying to take as much of Jared’s dick into his mouth as he could.  His appreciation for Jared’s many talents rose another notch.  This wasn’t easy. 

Jared didn’t seem hurt.  In fact, it didn’t seem like he’d even noticed the concussion worthy crack.  His eyes were riveted to where Jensen’s lips wrapped around his cock.  “My God,” he sighed.  “Do you know how many times I’ve imagined this?”  

That must be a rhetorical question because Jensen was almost positive Jared didn’t want him to take his mouth away to answer it.  Jensen ignored his too talkative friend and lifted himself up until his lips just barely circled the fat, round head of Jared’s dick, then he sank back down, sucking like a Hoover all the way.  He managed to swallow another inch.  Ha.  

“Oh, fuck, Jen.  Fuck.  Watch out!”  Jared’s warning ended on a wail.  

Jensen’s arms weren’t powerful enough to keep Jared’s body anchored to the bed this time.  His friend contorted into an excruciating looking cruciform – arms widespread and straining – chin digging into his own chest – feet planted hard on the mattress, and hips bucking high off it.  

Jensen’s mouth slipped from Jared’s throbbing, shooting cock.  Probably for the best, he wasn’t ready to swallow _just_ yet.  Not wanting to leave Jared hanging, though, Jensen opened his lips over Jared’s scrotum and sucked one large, egg-shaped ball out from where it was trying to tuck itself into Jared’s sweat-drenched body.

The noises coming from Jared’s lips could in no way be described as human.  Jensen thought he heard his own name in there somewhere, along with the words ‘fuck’ and ‘love’ and ‘shit’... and then a few more ‘fucks’.  Jared’s muscles continued to seize long past the point Jensen would consider normal.  God he was beautiful when he came.  Jensen’s own cock was feeling pretty neglected so he humped the mattress to try and relieve some pressure.  He was rock-hard.   Again.  It was crazy.  No matter how many times he came, it never seemed to be enough.  

Eventually, Jared fell still.  His whines and curses trailed off until only his harsh, erratic breath stirred the sex-drenched air.  

Jensen gave his friend’s sac one more lick – earning himself one more spent groan – and then sat up.  When he got a clear look at Jared he burst out laughing.  There was come _all over_ him!  Jared had shot clear up to his face.  White liquid spattered his cheeks and lips.  It dripped off his chin and ran in milky torrents down the planes of his torso.  Jensen had never _seen_ so much come.  “So, was it good?” he asked, a self-satisfied smirk lifting his lips.  

Like the guy could say no after coming _that_ hard _._


	6. Chapter 6

  


Jared opened glassy eyes.  “The best,” he said, his voice hoarse.  “ _Ever_.  Now quit laughing at me and get these things off.”  He shook his bound arms for emphasis.  “I can’t feel my fingers.”  

Jensen’s gaze followed the motion to see that Jared’s hands were in the process of turning blue.  “Oh, shit!” he blurted.  “Sorry.”  He worked as fast as he could, but it still took a while to undo the ties.  The fabric was wet with sweat and much tighter than when they’d started.

As soon as one of his wrists was free, Jared stripped a pillow of its case and started to mop himself up.  By the time Jensen liberated his other hand Jared looked somewhat normal – though his cheeks were still rosy-red and his skin had a kind of slip-sticky feel when he hauled Jensen against his chest.

His kiss was much tamer this time around – still _damn_ good, but more...controlled.  Blowing a geyser must have mellowed the guy out.  Jensen grinned at the thought.  

Jared felt the movement against his lips and he smiled too.  “Don’t go getting cocky, Jen,” he admonished, sucking Jensen’s lower lip between his teeth.  “I made _you_ shoot so hard you fell on the floor.”

Jensen sniggered and pulled back to take in his friend’s handsome, flushed face.  “Yeah but, dude – you had jizz in your _eyebrows_.”

Jared sucked in his cheeks as he fought not to laugh.  “Ohhh!” he said, pretending to be annoyed.  And doing a piss-poor job of it.  Those dimples gave him away every time. “So you wanna play like that, huh?”  He fell back with Jensen still held against him, and then rolled them both so that his greater weight flattened his friend into the mattress.  

Jared Padalecki was the best kisser in the world.  In. The. World.  That realization made Jensen frown, even as he opened his mouth wider to accept the mind-numbingly good thrust of his best friend’s tongue.  How the hell was Jensen supposed to go around kissing other people after this?  Seriously.  It wasn’t fair for Jared to be perfect at _everything_ and then be beautiful too, was it?  God wasn’t supposed to play favourites like that!

“Well, alright then,” Jared murmured, drawing Jensen’s tongue out to dance in the small space between their lips.  “Let’s play.”  His hips rolled, a long, sinuous undulation that had Jensen whimpering and clutching his ass to bring him in closer.

The man’s _insane_ bedroom skills were almost enough to quell the flare of unease his words had conjured.  

Almost.  But not quite.  “Uhh.  What game we playin’ again?” Jensen just had to ask.  

“Oh, you know – the one where I make you come so hard your head explodes.” Jared kissed him one final time and then leaned up to grab the ties Jensen had left on the night table.  

Jensen’s body relaxed into the soft bedding.  Ah, no need for unease after all.  He friggin’ _loved_ that game.  “Go for it, gorgeous,” he drawled, his fingertips teasing up and down Jared’s naked flank, his voice silky with seduction – and just a hint of mockery.  

A tremor worked its way through Jared’s body.  Jensen actually felt his friend’s heart slam against his ribs – one big, chest-rattling thump – as Jared dropped the ties to clutch cruel fingers in Jensen’s hair.  “Fuck!” he gasped between hard, fraught kisses. “It _hurts_ , how much I love you.”   

As soon as the words left his mouth, Jared winced.  He ducked his head into Jensen’s throat.  “Fuck.” he said again, his breath coming shallow and fast.  “I’m sorry.  I know you don’t want to hear—I didn’t mean—”  Jared gave his head a miserable shake.  “I just—”  he tried again, before he sighed and fell silent. 

Jensen stroked his friend’s tense back, a puzzled little smile on his face.  Contrary to what Jared seemed to believe, Jensen wasn’t at all sorry that Jared had blurted out his feelings.  In fact, he’d kind of _liked_ it.  

How fucked up was that?

“K, you know what?”  Jared said, much more coherently.  He lifted his head and his lips were curled in a self-depreciating grin.  “Let’s just pretend I didn’t say anything.”

Jensen opened his mouth, the words ‘Let’s not’ ready on his tongue, but Jared forestalled him by raising one of the ties to Jensen’s face and saying,  “Lift your head a bit.”

Jensen’s mouth snapped shut.  His heart, which had already started skipping beats at Jared’s declaration, began to beat even more haphazardly.  “What—”

“You know I would never hurt you, Jen,” Jared said.  “Or do anything you didn’t want.” His lips were so close to Jensen’s ear that each exhalation felt like a caress. Goosebumps rose on Jensen’s nape.  His gulp sounded unnaturally loud in the hushed silence.

“So I guess the question is—” Jared went on, when it became apparent Jensen wasn’t going to protest.  He lifted Jensen’s head himself to tie off the blindfold. “—do you trust me?”  

“With my life,” Jensen immediately answered.   There was no other answer he could give.  

The atmosphere in the room underwent a subtle change, became closer, warmer somehow.  And even though Jensen couldn’t see the adoring smile Jared now wore – he knew it was there.  He just knew.  That incredible ‘big love’ smile, all for him.  God, how he wished he could see it.  Return it.  

It was at that _precise_ instant that Jensen realized an amazing, wonderful, fucking horrible thing – he was falling in love with his best friend.  

“I’m glad,” Jared whispered, as if he knew exactly what was going on in Jensen’s head. 

Slam, slam, _slam_ , went Jensen’s heart.  Fuck!  Fuck!  _Fuck!_   screamed his mind.  “Jay,” he gasped.  “Maybe we shouldn’t—”  

Big hands cupped Jensen’s face.  Gentle lips met his own.  “Shhhh.”  

Jared pried Jensen’s panic-stiff fingers from his hair, kissed the knuckles of each quaking hand, and then knotted the last tie around Jensen’s wrists.  One more kiss, his mouth soft and lingering, and then he hauled Jensen’s hands up above his head.   “Keep ‘em there,” he ordered.  

Jensen nodded – so emotionally wrecked, and so _desperately_ turned-on, he could scarcely breathe, let alone make coherent words form in his mouth.  

Jared’s long, warm body went away.  Night table drawers opened—closed.  Jensen heard a low, exultant, “Aha!”  

Since Jared was on Dani’s side of the bed – in her night table – Jensen couldn’t help but wonder what his friend had found to make him sound so pleased.  Jensen never went in there himself.  Who knows what weird crap his girlfriend had hidden away?  

Jensen’s breath grew so shallow he began to feel dizzy. The bed dipped as Jared straddled him once more.  

His friend trailed languid kisses over Jensen’s torso.  When he got to Jensen’s left nipple, Jared’s touch became even milder, his tongue barely skimming the rigid pink peak.  Jensen arched his back, urging Jared on, trying to make his friend give him more.  To hell with the emotional crap.  He’d deal with it later.  Right now, he just needed this.  Needed _Jared_.  

Jared turned his head to press a chaste kiss just to the right of where he knew Jensen wanted it.  

“Jay!” Jensen twisted until Jared’s mouth was where it was supposed to be. 

“Yeah?”  Another ghostly glide of Jared’s teasing, mocking tongue.  Jesus!  What the fuck was Jared’s _problem_?  What did he want from— 

...

Hang on now...  

“Please?” Jensen tried, making his voice sound low and thick with need – not like he had to stretch his acting muscles very hard to get _there._   Jared’s shocked inhale had air rushing over Jensen’s nipple, tightening it even further.  

Yep.  Apparently, Mr. Padalecki _did_ get off on begging.  

Was that a surprise?  

Not really.  

Was it a problem?  

Hell no.  

For the chance to get his friend all riled up again, Jensen could beg.  He could beg his _ass off!_    

“God, please, Jay,” Jensen groaned, widening his thighs around Jared’s hips and grinding up into his friend’s crotch.  He turned his face into his bicep and gave himself a vicious love-bite.  “Please!”  He bit the flexed muscle again, letting his lips peel back from his teeth in an expression of pure torment.  “I _need_ —”   

Jared’s mouth crashed into his own, that control Jensen had so bemoaned _nowhere_ to be seen.  “You little prick,” he kind of laughed and groaned at the same time, after liquefying all of Jensen’s brain cells with the ferocity of his kiss.  “You know _exactly_ how sexy you are, don’t you?”

Jensen smirked.  He knew how sexy _Jared_ found him, anyway.  And knowledge was power, baby.

“Yeah—” Jared laughed softly.  “—you so do.”  He rubbed the tip of his nose against Jensen’s.  “You know, my plan was to make you ask for every single thing you wanted.”  

Jensen’s hips twitched at his friend’s lust-husky words.  Surely there was nothing sexier than the rasp of Jared’s voice when he was turned on.  Jared rocked his own hips in response, sliding their cocks together.  The guy was totally hard again.  He was like the freakin’ energizer bunny.  

“But I think _my_ head will explode if we play that way,” Jared admitted, shifting down until his lips came over Jensen’s nipple once more.  “So how ‘bout you just let me know if you want me to stop.  Okay?”

Jared was nibbling and sucking between words, driving Jensen so crazy that he barely registered what was being said.  He did catch enough to realize that Jared had revealed a _massive_ weakness, however.  Oh, yes.  He caught that.  

“God, don’t stop, Jay!” Jensen moaned, writhing against his friend’s body and infusing as much desperation into the words as he possibly could – again, not too hard to do.  “Please, baby.  _Please._  I _need_ _you.”_

Another bite for Jensen’s nip.  This one hurt!  “You’re the one tied up now, Jen,” Jared growled.  Jensen’s cock flexed happily _._   “Do you _really_ want to push me?  ‘Cause, I gotta tell ya – you may not like what happens next.” Jared yanked down Jensen’s underwear as if to punctuate his threat.

Jensen smiled and lifted his hips for the sexy, pissed-off sounding man.  Christ, he loved seeing – okay hearing – Jared this way: riding the razor’s edge of self-control.  So damn dark.  Sooo damn sexy.  

Maybe it was because Jensen had never even suspected that Jared _had_ a dark side.  Mr. bear-hugs and sunshine-smiles Padalecki?  Please.Jensen would have sooner believed that Jared had a secret stuffed bunny collection than that the guy was kinky and dangerous and hot as _fuck_ in bed.

Jensen’s hips rocked foreword again, his naked cock skidding across Jared’s pecs.  “Mmm.  Yeah,” he said.  “But, on the other hand, I might like what happens next a whole hell of a lot, right?”  His slightly sardonic tone turned solemn. “I trust you, Jay,” Jensen reminded his friend.  “I must, or I wouldn’t be so quick to tease while I’m...”  He jiggled his wrists.  “...pretty much at your mercy.”         

“Jen I—” Jared’s words trailed off into an awesome sounding growl/cough/whimper.  And then, with absolutely no warning at all, he swooped down on Jensen’s cock.  

“Jesus Christ!” Jensen’s bound hands slammed down on top Jared’s head at the sudden, disorienting rush of sensation.  His smack-down had the not unwelcome effect of driving himself deep into Jared’s throat.  Jared’s strangled groan reverberated through Jensen’s shaft.  His fingers bit deep into Jensen’s hips as he sucked, licked, even nipped at Jensen’s sensitive, swollen flesh.  

Jensen’s fingers fisted in Jared’s hair.  Fuuuuuuuuck!  The man was _way_ too good at this! Where the _hell_ had he learned to suck a cock so well?  

Jared groaned again, and somehow managed to take Jensen in even deeper.  His hands moved to Jensen’s asscheeks, squeezing hard enough to cause pain – hard enough to bruise – as he slowly pulled them apart.  A huge-feeling thumb came to rest against Jensen’s sphincter.  Just rest there.  Nothing more.  

Jensen’s spine arched as his climax hurtled towards him.  It was going to be fucking _huge!_   Jesus, Jay!” he gasped, thrusting deep into his friend’s heaven-sent mouth.  “M’gonna c—”  

“Ah, shit,” Jared hissed.  “No, don’t.  Just wait.” And then he disappeared _._

Jensen’s orgasm was so close he almost came anyway.  Seed churned in his balls.  His dick twitched and drooled.  Jensen groaned and thrashed.  “Jay _, please!”_ he cried.  

“Hang on,” Jared groaned back.  “Fuck, just hang on, baby.  It’ll be worth it.  I promise.”  

There was a rustling from the head of the bed – something thumping into the mattress beside Jensen.  Then Jared grabbed Jensen’s hips and flipped him over.  Around.  Jensen found himself lying sideways across the mattress, face down, with his hips raised up by what felt like a stack of pillows and his head resting on one more.  

It had happened _scary_ quick.  Jensen gasped when he realized what position Jared had put him in.  “Oh, hell no!” he growled, attempting to roll off the terror-inducing mound of pillows.  

Jared’s big hand slapped itself down on Jensen’s ass, pinning him.  “You either trust me or you don’t.”

Jensen subsided.  He couldn’t make his muscles relax, however. Just couldn’t.  His entire body was vibrating like a goddamned tuning fork.  

Time stretched – each second bleeding silently into another.  Ten...twenty...twenty-five...   

Jensen jumped a good six inches off the mattress when Jared’s lips came over his nape.  Jared chuckled and licked the first vertebrae in the long, long line that ended just above Jensen’s...

“Relax,” Jared said – tongue circling, teasing each knob of bone, trying to ease the tension in Jensen’s spine. Jensen was strung so tight he practically freakin’ _twanged_ every time Jared touched him _._   “Nothing you don’t want.  Remember?”

Jensen buried his face in the pillow and nodded.  Breathe, he told himself.  You trust him – you do – so just breathe.

“You have such a beautiful back,” Jared said, breaking his downward momentum to lick across the edges of Jensen’s scapula.  Then he palmed a handful of Jensen’s butt cheek.  “And a truly awe-inspiring ass.” 

Sweat broke out along Jensen’s hairline.  Shut up, he silently urged.  Just shut up!  If Jared was going to do something Jensen wished he’d just hurry up and fucking _do_ it already!  Aloud he said, “That ‘talking too much’ thing is kind of a problem for you, isn’t it, buddy?”  He’d meant it to be a joke, but the words came across more bitchy sounding than anything else.  

Jared made a ‘tsk’ sound.  His other oversized mitt landed on Jensen’s butt too.  “I’m sorry, babe,’” he said, Texas a dark burr in his tone.  He palmed Jensen’s ass-cheeks wide apart.  “I didn’t realize you were feelin’ so darn impatient.”  

Christ on a stick!  Jensen’s hips bucked at the sudden, rude exposure, and at the fission of lust Jared’s wicked-dirty drawl had inspired. Okay, so egging Jared on may not have been his bestcourse of action ‘cause, God, he wasn’t ready for _this_.   “Jay,” Jensen gasped. He tried wriggle away.  He wasn’t allowed to.

“Steady, Jen.”  Jared’s tongue swirled a figure eight around the two dimples set just above the swell of Jensen’s ass.  “Give me a chance here.”  Then his tongue dipped into Jensen’s crease – a fleeting, flickering lick.

Jensen took a big bite of goose-down to prevent himself from whimpering, or hollering, or making some other equally pathetic noise.  

Jared’s tongue delved deeper.  When that deliciously long, madly talented tongue at last flicked a circle around his sphincter, Jensen could no longer hold back on the pathetic sounds – even through a mouthful of feathers.

“Stop?” Jared lifted his mouth away to ask.

“No!”  Sort of came out a groaned, “Nnnn!” but Jared must have caught the gist, because he went back to work. 

Suddenly, with a thick groan of his own, Jared gripped the top of Jensen’s thighs and pulled him back, and up – so that now Jensen was on his knees, ass high in the air, face still buried in a pillow...  Christ, the way he must look.  The sad thing was, Jensen couldn’t even make himself care, because this new angle gave Jared even better access, and Holy mother of God!  How the _fuck_ was it that Jensen had never done this before?  

Jared reached between Jensen’s legs to give his balls a good, hard squeeze while, at the same time, forcing the tip of his tongue into Jensen’s body.

OhmyfuckingGodJesusChrist!  Jensen clawed at the comforter, rocking his body back into the incredible sensation.  Jared didn’t even have to do any of the work.  Jensen was fucking his friend’s tongue all by himself.  

Jensen moaned Jared’s name over and over – and over.  It was the only coherent sound he seemed capable of producing.

“Oh, God,” Jared gasped, taking his mouth away.  He rested his forehead against Jensen’s hip for a second, his panting breaths just as loud and harsh as his friend’s.  “You’re so hot, Jen.  Fuck.”  

Jensen heard a muted plastic ‘click’ and a second later felt the slippery-slick tip of Jared’s finger against his hole.  That quieted him down a tad.  His body fell still, eyes squeezed shut behind tight red silk.

“Okay?” Jared asked.

“Yeah.”  No hesitation.  If Jared’s tongue felt that good, how much better would his finger feel?  Jensen’s cock pulsed at the thought.  “Do it.” 

There was mild discomfort, quickly alleviated by the way Jared reached around and yanked on Jensen’s cock while inching his way inside. When he was as deep as he could go, Jared crooked his finger down.

Jensen sagged, boneless, at the sudden zing of pleasure.  All that kept him up was the strong arm of the _brilliant_ son-of-a-bitch kneeling behind him.  “Jesus Christ,” he moaned, when Jared stroked over the magic spot again.

“You know, I never get tired of hearing you say my name like that, Jen,” Jared said.  He began to kiss his way back up his friend’s sweaty spine, never stopping with the delicious see-saw-crook of his finger.  “Oh, wait, that’s not _my_ name you’re moaning, it’s that Christ jerk’s.”  The action of his finger became harder, faster.

“Heathen,” Jensen groaned.

“Slut,” Jared whispered back.

And wasn’t _that_ the truth?  For Jared?  Yes – Jensen was a slut.

Jensen reared up blindly, seeking the hot, wet mouth he _knew_ was right there.  Not being able to see wasn’t much of a hindrance to his lust-soaked senses; it simply heightened the other four.  “Jared,” Jensen breathed against his friend’s kiss-bruised lips.  “Jared.  Jay.  Baby.”  He raised his bound arms to twine his fingers through Jared’s hair.  Then he gave it a yank.  “Sex God of the universe!  I’ll call you whatever the hell you want, if you’ll just—”

Jared chuckled and slanted his mouth over Jensen’s.  His single finger slipped out to be replaced by freshly lubed twins.  Discomfort again – more of a burn than a stretch.  But then...  Ohhhh God.  Two fingers rubbing over his prostate was apparently double the pleasure, double the fun.  Jensen’s toes started to curl.  His head fell back against Jared’s shoulder.  

“Just what?” Jared asked, laughter vibrating behind his words.  He pumped Jensen’s cock once then clamped his hand tight around the base, causing Jensen’s orgasm to stutter to a halt for the second damn time.  “Tell me what you want, Jen,” he purred.  

Dick!  It was pretty fucking obvious what Jensen wanted, wasn’t it? He wanted to _come!_

Jensen ripped off the blindfold – ‘cause, seriously, the trust issue had so been settled – and started to tell his friend _exactly_ how much of a cocktease asshole he was being.  But then his eyes got snagged by the mirror hanging directly in front of them and the irate words died on his tongue.

Holy shit.  _Now_ he understood why Jared had made him lie sideways on the bed – it was so he could watch Jensen’s face in the big-ass mirror over Jensen’s dresser.  The sneaky bastard.  

The sneaky, _sexy_ bastard.  Flushed.  Naked.  His big hand wrapped around Jensen’s prick, his long fingers still in Jensen’s ass, his cheeks rosy and his eyes dark – wide and wild.  Jared looked even closer to losing his shit than Jensen did.  

Hmmm.  Maybe bitching wasn’t the best way to get what he wanted after all.  

Jensen’s eyes fell half-closed and his lips curved into their natural, lost-boy pout.  He rocked his hips back so that Jared’s cock slipped along his ass crease...and then he started to beg.  Really, all out, beg.   

Jared’s thrusting fingers faltered.  Probably due to a combination of things:  the unnatural wrist-angle Jensen kneeling up had forced him to assume, the feel of his cock gliding against Jensen’s ass, and the way Jensen was moaning and sucking at his lips while saying stuff like –  “I want you so much, Jay.  No one’s ever made me this hot before. I feel like I’m gonna die if you don’t make me come.  Please, baby.  Please!  I fuckin’ _need it.”_

Every word Jensen uttered made Jared shudder.  Every ‘Please’ made him groan.  He tossed his head back – perfect lips peeled back from perfect teeth, and hissed, “Stop!”

Jared let go of Jensen’s cock and caught his hair instead, tugging until the back of Jensen’s skull hit his collarbone once more.  “Jen, if I didn’t _care_ about you so much—” he rasped, so obviously avoiding the word ‘love’ he may as well have been shouting it, “—I’d already be buried balls-deep inside you.”

That thought made Jensen’s cock twitch and his asshole clench, but not in fear.  Christ, he’d already had _two_ of Jared’s fingers inside him and it had been spectacular.  How much better would it feel to take his friend’s cock into his body?  I mean, gay guys had been ass-fucking since the beginning of time – surely they wouldn’t be so keen on the activity if it didn’t feel good.  

Jensen locked gazes with Jared and said, “Then I suggest you try to care a little less, Jay.” 

Jared’s eyes glittered fiercely through the long fringe of his bangs.  His chest heaved.  “Nope,” he replied, after a long, tense second.  “I’m afraid I can’t do that.”  He shifted back and picked up a metallic-pink cylinder from the bed. “But I can certainly speed things up,” he mumbled, fishing around on the bed for something else.

The cylinder was about six inches long, an inch-and-a-half wide, and curved at the end like... Crap.  That was no cylinder; it was a dildo.  That must have been the discovery Jared had been crowing over earlier.  

Jared found the lube bottle and proceeded to drizzle what looked like _way_ too much clear liquid on the hot-pink toy.  “Are you _sure_ , Jen?” he seemed to feel compelled to ask.  

“I’m sure,” Jensen rasped.  “Christ, just _go_ already before I change my mind!”

That galvanized Jared into action.  With one easy twist of his wrist, he set Jensen’s hands free. Jensen was pushed down on all fours, the dildo’s smooth, round tip circling his asshole just once before slipping inside.

Jensen's breath hissed out from between his teeth as Jared pressed the dildo all the way home.  Suddenly, the damned thing began to vibrate. Jensen cried out, torn between wanting to push back into the surreal sensation or pull away from it.  

He ended up doing a spastic, fucked up abbreviation of both.  

“Jay!” he shouted.  The powerful vibrations, tight up against his magical mystery gland, were gonna have him off in about two seconds flat. 

“Sorry, sorry.”  Jared turned the vibrator down.  Not off – down.  But at least it didn’t feel like Mount St. Helens was erupting in Jensen’s colon anymore.  

Jared worked that dildo like a pro.  Up and down.  Side to side.  And in these great big circling loops that had Jensen’s eyeballs rolling all the way back into his flippin’ skull.  His lust-blown gaze stayed on the mirror the whole time, riveted to Jensen’s face.  

And Jensen was making some pretty messed up faces – mouth hanging open, eyes all squinty.  He was too close to coming to care how stupid he looked, though.  Sooo damned close.  But there was no way he was gonna shoot with a goddamned pink dildo shoved up his butt!  “Jared!” Jensen growled, flinging his hips back in invitation.  “If you don’t fuck me right now, I swear to fucking God—”

Jared ripped out the dildo.  Jensen whined at the sudden absence and Jared whined at _his_ whine.  “Fuck, just hang on, baby,” Jared muttered, taking his teeth to a condom packet.  “ _Fuck!_ ” He seemed to be having some trouble getting it open.  

Jensen dropped his head to the pillow and whimpered in frustration.  

“Shhhhh.” Jared brushed a hand down Jensen’s back, almost as if he were gentling a horse.  “I’m right here,” he whispered. His wet, latex covered cock nudged against Jensen’s ass.   “Right here.”    

What a numb-fuck thing to say.  Where else would he be?  

Jared must have known something that Jensen didn’t, however, since his gentle strokes and soothing tone managed to suck most of the tension right out of Jensen’s spine.  Once again, Jensen was struck by the fact that Jared had obviously done this _before_.  Jealousy flared in his chest, even though Jensen knew he had absolutely no right to that emotion.

“Now, Jen,” Jared said, his voice huskier than Jensen had ever heard it.  “I’m a _lot_ bigger than the dildo, so I’m just gonna let you take me in at your own pace.”  Another tender stroke up Jensen’s spine.  “Whenever you’re ready – just push back.  And if you can’t take it, that’s totally fine.  I’ll just—”  

Jensen was surprised to find tears pricking his eyes.  Emotion clogged his throat, making his voice almost as low and husky as Jared’s.  “Yeah, yeah,” he said, inching backward, biting his lip against a moan of pain.This was more than just discomfort.  “You have a huge dick,” Jensen gasped, finishing his sentence as Jared’s glans punched through the air-tight vault his sphincter had become.  “I _know_.  Everyone knows.  Quit bragging about it already.”

Jared’s hands caught at his hips, halting any further progress.  “You’re _way_ too tense,” he whispered, ignoring Jensen’s lame attempt at humour.  “If you can’t relax...” He left the thought unspoken, instead saying, “C’mere.  Let’s try this,” as he oh-so-carefully pulled back on Jensen’s shoulders, encouraging his trembling friend to kneel up.

Even though he was gentle as a saint, the movement still drove Jared a few inches deeper into Jensen’s body.  Jensen moaned.  Sweat trickled down his spine.  He held himself perfectly still, straddling Jared’s thighs, kneeling up as high as his knees could lift him – which wasn’t near high enough.  

Shit.  He wasn’t going to be able to do this.  

Jared wrapped a hand around Jensen’s cock, only half hard now, and gave him a squeeze.  “Relax,” he pleaded.  “Please, Jen.  Try to relax.”

Jensen blew out a breath and let himself slide down another increment.  Maybe the pain was a bit less now?  No.  No, it really wasn’t.  The lower he went the thicker Jared got.

Jared was pressing desperate kisses to Jensen’s throat.  “Almost there, baby.  Please don’t give up.”  He must have sensed how close Jensen was to doing just that.  “Oh, God,” he moaned.  “You’re so _tight._ I had no idea it would feel like this.”

...

Umm.  What??  

Jensen cut his friend right the hell off.  “What do you _mean_ you had no idea it would feel like this?  You’ve done this before, right?  Been with a guy?”  His straining leg muscles quivered and let him slide down another half-inch.  Traitorous, useless appendages!

Jensen’s furious tone snapped Jared’s head up.  His desire-dark hazel eyes locked with Jensen’s anger-bright green ones.  “Yeah, I’ve been with a guy,” he agreed, his brow furrowing.  “One guy.  When I was seventeen.  But—”

While Jared was speaking, Jensen was slipping, unable to hold the abnormal tip-toes on-his-knees position.  So...fuck it.  It’s just pain, he told himself, and he gritted his teeth and bore down.  

 “But...” Jared said again, before his halting explanation truly did stumble to a halt.  “So good,” he gasped instead.  “Fuck, Jen, you feel so _good_.”  

Good, huh?  Well how nice...for _him_. “But what, Jay?” Jensen demanded.  He wanted to hear this, damn it!  

“Oh, fuck,” Jared moaned, shivering.  “Fuck!” He buried his nose in Jensen’s throat. “But I was always the bottom with him,” he finished in a guttural rush.  “God, Jen, please tell me I can move.”

“You can’t!” Jensen snapped.  Shithead!  he silently added.  

All right, so apparently Jared was flying as blind as Jensen was.  Fine.  Great.  They’d just have to wing it.  But from this point on, things were happening on _Jensen’s_ friggin’ terms!  

Heaving a put-upon sigh, and wearing a pain-expectant grimace, Jensen gave his ass a little bounce – the barest hint of a movement.  It still hurt, but it was more of an aching pain than a stabbing one.  Jared whimpered and sank his teeth into Jensen’s throat – which also hurt, but in a nice, diverting sorta way, so Jensen didn’t complain.  

“Jen,” Jared moaned, hips quivering with the repressed need to thrust, arms strangling the air from Jensen’s chest.  “Please, baby.  Just...fuck... _please..._ ”  

Oh.  Kind of getting the begging fetish now.  

 “No, Jay.  Stay still,” Jensen ordered.  He tried another tiny lift-and-lower and, yeah, it did hurt less now.  Thank you God.  Big breath.  Okay, maybe he _could_ do this.

Was Jared crying?    

Jensen glanced at their reflection in the mirror, trying to see Jared’s expression.  He couldn’t.  His friend’s face seemed to be crazy glued to Jensen’s skin.  Shoot.  Seeing Jared mad with lust would definitely make this more enjoyable.

Then Jensen’s attention got snagged by the visual of what was happening down below.  After one quick, appalled peek, he had to glance away.  It looked like he was attempting to sit on a flagpole, for crying out loud!  His muscles started to tense up again but Jensen willed himself to relax, ‘cause tight muscles were _not_ his friend.  “Fuck, I wish we were face to face,” he complained.

Jared unhinged his jaw from Jensen’s flesh.  “Do you want me to...” He began to lift Jensen off his cock.

“No!”  Fuck no.  And have to start all over again?  Was the man _psychotic_?

Jared’s brows beetled in confusion as he let Jensen’s waist go.  And yes, his cheeks _were_ wet – his long lashes spiky and dark.  The fact that Jared really had been crying made Jensen feel like complete shit – but it also made him feel kind of... satisfied?  

No, that couldn’t be right.  

Smug?  No, that was even worse.  

Man, Jensen’s emotions were so whack where Jared was concerned, even _he_ didn’t know what the hell he was feeling anymore.

“I have an idea,” Jared said, his brow smoothing out. He laid down flat with his calves still bent underneath his thighs, and Jensen still planted in his lap.  “Go ahead, Jen,” he said with a smile.  “Turn around.”

Jensen twisted his upper torso to look down at his friend.  “Gee, I didn’t know ‘limbo’ was one of your talents,” he said, cracking a smile of his own.

“There’s _a lot_ you don’t know about me.” 

Jensen started to twist his lower torso as well and Jared’s frown came back.  “Easy,” he breathed.  “Nice and slow now.” His hands rose to steady Jensen’s hips as they rotated.  “Fuck, Jen, you’re like a _vice_.”

Jensen didn’t answer him.  He was distracted.  See, he’d just been about to swing his thigh over Jared’s torso – in fact, his knee was currently planted in his friend’s sternum – when a bolt of electric bliss crackled up his spine.  Jensen stayed right there for a second and performed an experimental shimmy.  

The position they were in was awkward as hell, but since Jared’s cock was suddenly giving Jensen pleasure instead of pain – Jensen didn’t much care.  He wriggled again.  It felt _great,_ right until he overbalanced and started to fall backwards.  Jared’s hand splayed across his back, keeping him upright.

 “Jesus, Jen, you’re killing me!”  He grabbed Jensen’s sternum-bruising knee and spun him, like a top, into position.  

Jensen tensed, but instead of pain another lightning bolt of pleasure seared his brain.  He cried out and ground himself down on Jared’s cock, seeking friction against that magic spot.

“Okay?” Jared moaned, coming back up into a kneeling position.  His fingers bit into Jensen’s hips, as he rained hot, open-mouthed kisses down on Jensen’s throat.  “We’re okay?  I can—”

“Fuck me like an animal?” Jensen yanked Jared’s head up, desperate for his mouth.  “I wish you would,” he said, plunging his tongue between Jared’s lips.

 And you know, itreally _was_ like Jensen had set a wild animal loose.  Jared devoured Jensen’s mouth, growling, biting, whining.  He lifted Jensen up high until only his fat cockead remained trapped inside his lover’s body, only to slam him back down hard a second later.  Again and again.  Faster and faster.  Unfortunately, he wasn’t hitting quite the right...  

Jensen tore his lips away.  “Hold me up,” was all the warning he gave before leaning way back in Jared’s arms.  Ohhhh, yeah.  There it was.  Holy crap, Jensen was _definitely_ getting an ‘I-heart-my prostate’ t-shirt printed after this!  

Jared’s forearms bunched as he took Jensen’s entire weight on them, all while continuing to manipulate his friend’s body like a goddamned puppet – pistoning Jensen backward and forward on his brutally thick, wonderfully hard cock.  

In the back of his mind, Jensen knew he should probably be contributing more, but, frankly, it was taking all of his concentration to simply stay upright.  His fingernails left deep, blood-filled crescents in Jared’s biceps.  His head lolled into the cradle of his shoulders.  

And then Jensen caught their upside down reflection in the mirror.  

Jared’s eyes were already there, watching Jensen fixedly, his handsome face twisted into an expression of pure, potent lust.    Fuck he was beautiful.  Fuck Jensen was going to come hard.

Jensen wrapped a hand around his drooling dick and squeezed – perhaps staving off his orgasm, perhaps hurrying it on.  Who could say?  “Jay?” he whispered, surprising himself.  

“Mmm. Yeah?” Jared moaned.

“You love me?”  

Oh, _shit_!  Not cool.  That question was a mind-fuck-and-a-half.  And it’s not like Jensen didn’t already know the answer.  Still, he found himself holding his breath as he waited on Jared’s reply.  His balls were so full, so tight; his cock so hard.  Electricity zinged up his spine, arcing across his skin.  He was poised on the brink of what felt like it was going to be the most intense orgasm of his life.  He just needed to hear Jared’s answer.  

 “I’m pretty sure I already...told you...that...Jen,” Jared choked.  His thrusts grew erratic.  His cock swelled larger against the sides of Jensen’s colon, abrading the bulge of his prostate.  Jared knocked Jensen’s hand away from where it was strangling his dick and replaced it with his own.  His lube-slick fist pumped hard and fast.  Jensen’s neck arched.  He threw his weight back even more, causing Jared to lose his balance and fall forward onto one arm.

The sudden change in angle drove Jared’s cock even deeper.  Jensen hollered at the hurting bliss of it all.  “Tell me again!” he cried, as a tsunami of pleasure surged up from the soles of his feet..

Jared’s palm moved faster on Jensen’s cock.  Jensen’s seed splashed over his hand.  “I love you,” he moaned, raining kisses down on Jensen’s cheeks, temples, eyelids and mouth.  “I love you so fucking much!”  Jared drove himself deep one final time, Jensen’s name a prayer torn from his lips.

The heated throb of Jared’s orgasm pulled an answering wail from Jensen.  His own climax stretched and extended, each pulse merging into another until it became one continuous roil of ecstasy; pleasure so intense it was excruciating.  

Jensen’s asshole strangled his friend’s thick shaft while his own cock shimmied and shook and shot watery little spurts – his balls relentlessly clenching, trying to expel liquid that was no longer even in there.  And his poor heart – it was pounding like a goddamned sledge-hammer, trying to rip its way right out of his chest.  

“Oh, God. Oh, God.  Oh, Fuck!” Jensen cried.  Sun-bright fireworks ignited behind his tightly shut eyelids.  His body stiffened, all the muscles seizing simultaneously. “Fuck, Jay, I love _—_! _”_

When Jensen’s asphyxiating arms suddenly fell slack, Jared caught his unconscious lover close and tenderly lowered him to the mattress.

TBC

 

 

 


	7. Chapter 7

  


Jensen came-to flat on his back with Jared settled half on top of him.  Jared was gently stroking Jensen’s cheek, looking down at him with that heart-quickening ‘I-adore-you’ smile of his.  Jensen started to return the smile – it was hard not to – when he belatedly noticed that his ass was empty.  And sore.  Empty _and_ sore – which _sucked_.  He scowled instead and cleared his sand- scoured throat to ask, “What the hell happ—”  

“I win,” Jared interrupted.  His smile widened until Jensen could have fit the whole tip of his finger into one of Jared’s dimples.  

“You—what?”  Jensen came up on his elbows, forcing Jared to roll off him.

His friend ended up pressed against Jensen’s side, his head relaxed on one fist.  He touched a finger to the tip of Jensen’s nose.  “You lost consciousness, Jen.  Fainted.  Blacked-right-the-fuck-out,” he said, tapping his finger against Jensen’s nose-tip at the end of every word.  “Or, in other words—” Jeez, it had to be hurting Jared’s jaw muscles, how hard he was grinning.   “—your head exploded.”  His eyes sparkled.  “Ergo, I win.”  

Jensen sighed.  Well...it _had_ been the best sex of his entire life.  And yeah, his head did sort of explode there at the end. “Okay, fine,” he said, slumping back against comforter.  “You win.”

“Damn straight I do.” Jared pointed double-thumbs at his own chest.  “Sex god of the universe right here, baby!”  

A smile tugged at Jensen’s lips.  “Modest about it too, I see,” he murmured, the words soft and just slightly slurred.  His eyelids weighed about fifty pounds each.  Lack of sleep and endorphin overload was catching up to him.  

Mmmmm.  Sleep.  

Jared laughed and slapped at Jensen’s chest.  “C’mon,” he said, scrambling off the bed.  “I’ve been wanting to try out your tub since the first time I saw it.  I’m pretty sure I’ll fit in the damn thing.”

He should.  The Jacuzzi in Jensen’s apartment was double-wide and extra long.  But...  Blah.  It was so far away – thirty feet, at least.  Jensen dropped his arm over his eyes to block out the setting sun’s long red rays.  

Sunset already?  How long had they been _at_ this?  No wonder he was so friggin’ tired.  “Jay, man, you’re not one of those people who gets all energized and happy after sex are you?” he asked.  “’Cause I fuckin’ hate that.”  Jensen lowered his arm to throw Jared a menacing glare.  He promptly ruined the effect by yawning.  “You go ahead and have a bath,” he said.  “I’m just gonna pass out right here.”

“I only get happy and energized after _great_ sex!” Jared called, as he strode, buck-ass naked, into the hall.  

Jensen’s eyes ate up the long lines of Jared’s body: powerful shoulders winging down to a trim, tight waist.  Those mile-high legs of his.  And that _ass._ Good God, the guy’s butt was downright biteable.

And bite it he _would_ , Jensen vowed.  Oh, yeah.  Next time he’d bite that delicious ass black and blue, and then he’d make Jared ‘take it like a man’ – just like he’d promised to.  Christ, he couldn’t _wait_...

...  

Jensen blew out a defeated breath as he realized where his thoughts were taking him.  He dropped his arm over his eyes again.  

And what ‘next time’ would that be, asshole? he asked himself.  This was supposed to be a one-time _only_ affair.  Remember?  His stomach lurched, clenched and rolled, and Jensen realized that the thought of never being able to touch Jared Padalecki again was so awful it made him physically ill.  

Strong arms slid under Jensen’s body.  He gasped.  Jumped.  Jeez, he’d been so busy angsting he hadn’t even heard Jared re-enter the room. 

“All right then,” Jared said, as he lifted Jensen in his arms.  “Since you’re obviously too wrecked to get up, I guess I’ll just have to carry your lazy ass in there.”  He nuzzled Jensen’s hair.  “Then I’ll wash it for you,” he drawled, deep and sexy.

Jensen struggled against Jared’s chest.  He scowled when his apparently feeble attempts to get away were ignored.  “Put me down,” he ordered.  This being treated like a girl shit _had_ to stop if they were going to be togeth...  

Crap.  This _so_ wasn’t a one-time only thing.   

Jared ignored him some more, turning sideways to manoeuvre through the bedroom door.  He did it again three steps later to enter the bathroom.  

“Now, damn it!” Jensen raised his hand in a clear and dire threat.  If a bitch slap was what it was going to take then, by God, a bitch slap Jared would get! 

“Okay, okay.” From about a foot up, Jared dropped Jensen in the tub. The tub that was overflowing with bubbles.  Water sloshed across the slate floor.  “You don’t need to use your drill sergeant voice,” he said, stepping into the bath himself.  He settled between Jensen’s thighs as if he belonged there, scooching down until his knees broke the bubbly surface.  “’Course, I kinda like your drill sergeant voice,” Jared went on, his voice dropping into a suggestive pitch.  “So don’t feel you have to stop on my account.”  His head came to rest against Jensen’s collarbone.  

Jensen turned his face just enough to press a kiss to the damp, tender skin of Jared’s temple.  Then he pushed down on the top of his friends head, forcing it underwater.  Jared came up sniggering.  He turned sideways, ass still planted between Jensen’s legs, and spit a stream of water directly at Jensen’s forehead.  

Jensen frowned, or tried to while grinning his ass off.  “You’re such a dufus, Jay,” he said, pulling the endearing, bubble-covered man in for a kiss – a kiss that _he_ was in control of, for a nice change of pace.  

Jared’s arms wound themselves around Jensen’s neck as Jensen explored his mouth with strong, leisurely strokes.  He let out a sexy whimper when Jensen eventually took his tongue back.  “Yeah but I’m _your_ dufus,” he said, his eyes blinking open real slow.

“Well...mine and Genny’s,” Jensen felt compelled to point out – for some unknown, completely fucked up reason.  He grabbed the facecloth hanging over the faucet and began to wash make-up from his friend’s torso.  Anything to avoid Jared’s eyes.  “So uh...how do ya think she’d feel about sharing?” he asked.  The words didn’t come out nearly as casual sounding as he’d meant them to.

Silence.  

Jensen couldn’t look at the guy.  Was categorically incapable of it. 

For the longest time, the only sound to be heard was the tinkling cascade of water on skin as he bathed Jared’s beautiful body and tried very hard to appear...relaxed?  Unconcerned?  

Why wasn’t Jared saying anything?

Sam’s tattoo left a faint blue impression of itself – one that would last for days, Jensen knew.  Maybe Jared would have something to say by then.    

“Why are you asking me that?” Jared abruptly asked.  He used one knuckle to raise Jensen’s chin, forcing him to meet his gaze.  “I thought you only wanted one—”  

“I think we both know one night’s not gonna cut it, Jay.” Jensen dropped the washcloth and pushed his fingers through Jared’s wet hair, finding and gripping his skull.  “I can’t go back to the way things were before.” He shook his head, the movement too emphatic.  Water sloshed.  “I _can’t_.  Not after...   Jesus.  Can _you_?”  

Jared’s face contorted.  “I’ve been pretending not to want you – not to _love_ you – for five fuckin’ years,” he pointed out.  “So yeah, _I_ could.”  He pushed hard away from Jensen’s body, ending up in the middle of the big tub.  “Look, Jen, if you’re fucking with me – pulling more of that maybe/maybe-not crap—” Jared wrapped his arms around his knees and dropped his head in the ‘v’ created.  “Fuck.  Just don’t okay?”  Bubbles danced away from his hitching breaths.  “It’s already going to break me to walk out of here tomorrow,” Jared whispered.  “So please, just...don’t.”  

“Jare—”

Jared’s head snapped up.  He speared Jensen with a tormented look.    “ _Are_ you offering me more?  More than just tonight?”  

Jensen opened his mouth.  

And _again_ Jared cut him off.  Jesus Christ!  The guy really needed to learn when to shut the fuck up!  

“Careful, babe.” Jared grimaced, but seemed to be trying to pass it off as a smile. “This is a real ‘say-what-you-mean/mean-what-you-say’ situation.  What is it you want?”  

The first words that sprang to Jensen’s mind were the ones that made it past his lips. “I think the answer to that question is painfully obvious, Jay,” he said.  “I want _you_.” 

Even though Jensen’s hand wasn’t on his friend’s dick at the time, the results were still pretty electrifying.  Jared gasped and lurched forward.  

“Then you can have me, Jen,” he groaned.  “For as long as you fucking want me – you can have me.”  Jared cupped Jensen’s cheeks as his oh-so-clever tongue breached Jensen’s lips.  

Every time Jensen thought he’d experienced the best Jared had to offer, the man surprised him.  This kiss was different from the rest.  Still hot and deep and perfect – but all of a sudden there was _more._   It was like an oath was being sworn.  

Jensen slipped his hands up into Jared’s hair again.  It was where his fingers wanted to be.  He lost himself in the kiss for a long time, but eventually attempted to tug Jared back so they could talk.  It wasn’t easy to do – Padalecki _really_ didn’t want to stop kissing him.  “Wait a minute,” he gasped, lips tingling and swollen.  

Jared groaned a denial and slashed his mouth across Jensen’s once more. The dark, wet strands of his long hair tangled around Jensen’s retreating wrists, as if unwilling to let go.  

“Wait!” Jensen insisted.  Christ, if they started up with _this_ again it could be hours before they’d be able to speak coherently.  “Jay, I...”  Jensen paused and chewed on his inner cheek.  “I guess I just needto know _how_ we’re gonna make this work,” he finally said.  

“Fuck’s sake, Jen,” Jared moaned.  “ _I_ don’t know.”  He’d been straining against Jensen’s grip, trying to get their mouths back together, but when he saw the anxious look on Jensen’s face he heaved a resigned sigh and turned around to settle his back against Jensen’s chest once more.

Right away, Jensen reached up underneath Jared’s arm and gave his nipple a pinch.  Hey, he'd just wanted their mouths free.  No reason their _hands_ couldn’t be kept busy.  “What do you mean ‘you don’t know’?” he asked, viciously tweaking the tiny brown nub.   He grinned at Jared’s blissed-out groan.  A normal person would have been whimpering in pain.  Not Jared, though.  No, _Jared_ seemed to have quite a penchant for pain – the sexy bastard.  “You’ve been imagining us together for five years and you never thought through any of the details?” Jensen went on, his tone incredulous.

For a moment, Jared seemed too distracted to answer.  Jensen took pity on him and moved his fingers away from his friend’s poor, abused nipple.  Jared grabbed Jensen’s hand and placed it right back on his poor, abused nipple.  Jensen just smiled and gave it another good mauling.  

“Right,” Jared said, his voice beyond breathy.  “’Cause it was _so_ apparent you were going to suddenly clue in to the fact that I was crazy in love with you and fall into my arms.”  He V-8 smacked his forehead.  “God, you’re right!  I should have been more organized!”

That’s it – smart-ass just earned himself a purple-nurple.  

Jared writhed and whined when Jensen twisted his nipple completely upside down.  Something clenched in Jensen’s gut.  He’d truly gotten off on seeing Jared dark and dominant – _truly_ – but depraved and desperate Jared was pretty freakin’ hot too! 

“You’re so mouthy, babe,” Jensen admonished, thrusting his tongue deep into his friend’s ear.  

Jared’s moans got thicker, louder.  

“Such a mouthy...” 

Another tongue thrust.       

“...little...”  

Another – accompanied by a nasty bite to his earlobe.  One of Jared’s hands smacked into the back of Jensen’s head, holding him in place.  He groaned Jensen’s name.

“...pain whore,” Jensen finished, low and filthy.

“Yeah.” Jared’s voice was a contented rumble in Jensen’s ear.  “I really am.” He rocked his ass against the rapidly growing bulge of Jensen’s cock.  “And, you know what, babe?   I just _love_ that you get that about me.”  But then he sighed, the sound sad somehow, and turned his face into Jensen’s throat.  “If I’d thought we stood even half a chance, Jen, I’d have never married her,” he said, so soft Jensen almost didn’t catch it.  

Jensen’s throat constricted at the hushed confession.  He tilted his friend’s face up and kissed each of his long-lashed eyelids.   “But you love her, Jay.  I know you do.  And _I_ love Dani.  Besides – what? – we come out as a gay couple who play _brothers_ on TV?”  He snorted and let his head thunk back against the rim of the bathtub.  “That’d go over big.”  

“Huge,” Jared agreed.  A shrug lifted his shoulders.  “But I already came out once.  Wouldn’t be that big a deal to do it again, I suppose.”

“What? _”_   Jensen raised his head to gape at him.  “Dude, I’ve seen you making out with at least a dozen women.  You’re not gay.”

Jared shifted around, all slippery gangly limbs, until he straddled Jensen’s thighs.  He took his own dick, and Jensen’s, in one long-fingered hand and gave them both a pull.  His nostrils flared at Jensen’s moan.  “ _Dude_ , in case you hadn’t noticed, I’m not exactly ‘straight’, either.”

“It was that guy...when you were seventeen...right?”  Carrying on a conversation was becoming increasingly difficult.  “He was your first...” Jensen’s eyes fluttered closed as Jared’s hand swiftly moved back down.  “...and that’s why you thought you were gay?” he finished in a mumbled rush.  

Hmm.  Strange how the thought of Genevieve – Jared’s _current_ bed partner and, oh yeah, _wife!_ – didn’t bother Jensen much, but the thought of some nameless/faceless guy taking Jared’s virginity over ten years ago made Jensen want to reach out and touch someone.  And not in a good way either.  “What was his name?” Jensen asked, aiming for nonchalance _._   

Jared snorted, letting Jensen know he’d missed nonchalance by a mile or more.  His hand slipped down to fondle Jensen’s balls.    “Doesn’t matter.  It was a long time ago.”     

Concentrate, Jen, he scolded himself even as he widened his legs for his gifted lover.  “Humour me,” he moaned aloud.  “Tell me...”  Oh, _Jesus!_ Apparently, his asshole was still _wicked_ sensitive _.  “...._ everything!” He ended up yelping the last word.  Jensen cracked open one eyelid at Jared’s amused chuckle and gave him back a smirk.  Two could play this game, after all.   “Please?” he purred, infusing the single word with as much sinful sensuality as he possibly could. 

Jared’s lips twitched.  “Don’t you start, you prick.”  His soapy palm skidded back up Jensen’s cock, making him shudder.    

Jensen’s smirk turned into a full-on grin.  Somehow ‘please’ had become a sexually charged word between them.  _That_ was certainly going to make things interesting when they were out in public together.  

 “Fine,” Jared said.  “If you _must_ know, Nick was the lead singer in a nothing little grunge band.  I met him at my high school’s Christmas dance.” He leaned over and licked a long line up Jensen’s throat as he spoke, still slowly jacking them both off.  Jensen’s head thunked into the bathtub once more.  “He was five years older than me,” Jared continued.  “We were together six months.  One day, I walked into his apartment and found him fucking someone else so, long story short – I asked his little sister to the prom – took her cherry in back of my limo – realized I liked girls just fine—”  He was nibbling along Jensen’s jaw now, his palm deliciously slick on Jensen’s cock.  “—and haven’t looked at another guy since.  Until you.”

“Why me?”  Jensen reached down to stop Jared’s hand.  It felt too good, he wanted to be able to pay attention to Jared’s answer.  

“Don’t know.”  Jared’s thumb swept Jensen’s lips.  “Maybe because, from the first moment I saw you, I couldn’t stop fantasizing about this mouth of yours.”  His slanted eyes grew dark.  “This gorgeous mouth,” he murmured, as if to himself.  

Jensen bit the thumb still resting on his lower lip and Jared gave his head a shake.   “Or maybe it’s because you laugh at all the same shit I do,” he said, as if he’d never been sidetracked. “Or it’s the fact that I’ve never seen you be rude to anyone, even when they deserved it.”  He took his thumb back and replaced it with his lips for a brief, fierce kiss.  “But, mostly, I think it’s because you’re incredible, Jen,” he whispered.  “I fell in love with you because you’re so fucking _incredible_.”  

Jensen’s cock twitched hard in Jared’s hand.  Jared glanced down.  He cocked an eyebrow.  “Hey, _I_ have a question, Jen:  How come you get off so hard when I tell you, ‘I love you.’”  He let go of his own erection to focus all of his attention on Jensen’s.

“Don’t know,” Jensen gasped, lying through his teeth – though not entirely.  See, he really _didn’t_ know why he wanted – no, needed – to hear Jared say it.  He only knew that every time Jared admitted his feelings, Jensen felt just a little less massively fucked up about the whole situation.  

He supposed it was reassurance he was seeking, on some basic level.  After all, it wasn’t everyday a guy found out that not only was he bisexual; he was also in love with his best friend.  And then – like a dork – like things weren’t messed up _enough_ – he goes and shouts out his feelings while having his ass fantastically reamed by said best friend.  Like throwing _that_ out there had helped anyone.  They were still in the exact same place – only now there was a tragic Montague/Capulet feel to the whole damn affair.

Jensen could only hope that Jared hadn’t heard him, or – considering the timing – that he hadn’t actually said it out loud before passing out.  Jeez, Jensen still couldn’t _believe_ he’d fainted.  Maybe Jared was right to keep treating him like a chick.  

Jared gave his dick another pull and did this wrist twist thing at the end that had Jensen seeing stars.  “Hmm,” he said, wearing a complacent little smile.  “That’s disappointing.  I was kind of hoping you were going to tell me how much you loved me again.”  

Fuck.  So much for hoping he hadn’t been heard.  What to say now?  

_Fuck!_   If they could just figure out some sort of future for this, then maybe Jensen wouldn’t be so chicken-shit about owning up to his own new-found feelings.  “Jay, listen...” 

Jared pressed a kiss to the corner of Jensen’s downturned lips.  “Never mind, Jen,” he interrupted, his tone tender.  “Take as long as you need.  You know I’ll wait.”  Then he sat back, flashed a deep-dimpled grin and – in a completely different tone of voice – said, “So, wanna fuck again?”

Jensen’s cock twitched once more – this time in approval.  Jared chuckled and gave it a squeeze.  “I think little Jensen likes that plan.” 

“Don’t nick-name my dick, Jay.  Christ!”  Jensen pushed Jared back even further.  “Yeah, I wanna fuck again.  You’ve got some manning up to do, I believe.” He gave Jared’s hair a mock-threatening tug.  “But, seriously, Jay, I think we should figure this out first.  Don’t you?””

Jared let out a gusty sigh.  “You think way too much, Jen.  It’s a problem.  Anyone ever told you that?”  

At Jensen’s unamused scowl, Jared groaned and scrubbed at his eyes before saying, “Okay, look...” His words became clipped.  “When I said there was a lot you didn’t know about me I wasn’t just yanking your chain.”  Before Jensen had a chance to ask, Jared went on, “See, Genny and I, we have a...a pretty _open_ relationship.”

Jensen’s eyebrows shot into his hairline.  “You’re saying—”

“I’m saying Genny already knows about Nick – and since she found out, she’s been pretty keen to bring a guy into our bed.”  

Over Jensen’s dead fucking body!  

“We’ve shared a few girls,” Jared admitted, “but I always drew the line at men.”   Possessive palms stroked up Jensen’s sides.  “If I couldn’t have you, then...”  Jared cocked his head.  “You know, I never told Genny that,” he mused.  “But I’m pretty sure she already knows – or suspects, anyway.  She’s commented a _few_ times on the fact that I only call her ‘Gen’ in bed.”  

“Jesus, Jay!” Jensen valiantly disregarded the thrill he felt on hearing that Jared called out _his_ name while in the sack with other people.  No need to get cocky, as Jared would be more than happy to remind him.

“Oh, she wasn’t mad or anything,” Jared hastened to reassure.  “She laughed about it.”

“Really?”  Jensen asked.  Okay, umm, that was...a bit weird.  “So, uhh...so you want me to fuck you and your wife together,” Jensen clarified, if only for his own peace of mind.  “ _Really?_ ” he said again, his voice squeaking just the tiniest amount.

Like sugar-pink sex, Jared’s tongue slicked across his lower lip.  “Not if you don’t want to,” he said hastily.  “I mean, I’m entirely on board if you want to keep it just you and me.  But...yeah, if you’re interested, I don’t think she’d be appalled at the idea, or anything.”  Jared smiled – a shy, pleased grin that yanked hard on Jensen’s heartstrings.  “She thinks you’re very pretty.” 

“Pretty?”  Jensen pulled a face.  “You sure she didn’t say something like ‘ruggedly handsome’?”  

Jared laughed at that.  Hard.  Jeez, it wasn’t _that_ funny.  

“Nope, ‘very pretty,’” he said, when he had his guffaws back under control.  “That’s a direct quote.”  He pushed the hair out of his eyes and settled more firmly against Jensen’s erection, seemingly reconciled to the fact that – for now – they were indeed going to be talking instead of fucking.  “Anyway, as soon as Genny sees the show she’ll figure out something’s going on between us.” He shrugged.  “She knows me too well, Jen; she’ll be able to tell right away that I wasn’t acting.”

Jensen’s fingers wandered up the bevels of Jared’s torso.  Now that he’d started, he couldn’t seem to make himself stop touching the guy.  “And you’d be okay with that?” he felt the need to ask.  “Seeing her and me togeth—”

Jared let out that sexy, growly, whine of his.  His hips rolled, sliding his ass cleft along Jensen’s shaft.  “Sorry,” he breathed, at Jensen’s gasp of pleasure.  “I just got a hell of a visual there.”  He slung his arms around Jensen’s neck.  “Keep talking about it and I may actually come.” Then he kissed Jensen – a very long, and thoroughly distracting, kiss.  

“The thought of the three of us together has kept me up many, many nights,” Jared admitted, a few minutes later.  “If I had to choose, I’d choose you.  You know I would – _will._   But if I didn’t have to choose...”  His eyes drifted shut and his breath gusted against Jensen’s lips in a heartfelt sigh.  “God, if I _didn’t_ have to choose, I think I’d die a very happy man.”

Genevieve and Jensen – with Jared.  

Naked.  

Fucking.  

Jensen rolled the idea around in his mind.  Genny was wicked hot – no doubt about it.  He’d even thought about asking her out himself, but then she’d gotten with Jared and had officially became _persona non grata._ So...yeah...the thought could hardly be called unappealing.  A niggle of concern made Jensen ask, “Sometimes it would just be _us_ , though.  Right?  Just you and me?”  

“Definitely.”  Jared rocked his hips back and forth, clearly anxious to get past the talking shit.  Back and forth – back and forth.  “Daily – if I have my way,” he promised, his voice growing husky once more.  Jensen’s hands found their way to his friend’s busily flexing ass.  Damn, at this rate they weren’t even going to make it back to the bed.  “But what about Dani?”  Jared asked, pretty much _ruining_ the moment.  “Do you think she’d—”

“Noooo.  Not a snowball’s chance in hell, as they say.”  Jensen frowned.  What about Dani, indeed?  “I have an engagement ring being made for her, you know?  We haven’t made it public yet, but—”

“But everyone already knows,” Jared said.  He shifted so that Jensen’s erection was caught – clasped – between his butt cheeks.  “Dani told Genny.  Genny told Sera.”

“Etcetera,” Jensen sighed. 

 “Etcetera,” Jared agreed.   “So then, what _are_ you going to do?”

Jensen’s hands slipped off Jared’s bum.  He rubbed a palm over his eyes.  “I guess I need to think about it,” he admitted.  “For now, though, she lives a thousand miles away and will for the next year and a half – at least.”

Jared was nodding as Jensen spoke.  “Yeah, okay.  You have time.  _We_ have time.  But not that much.  The episode’s gonna air in three months, Jen.  She’ll figure it out then, don’t you think?”  He grinned.  “You were making some pretty interesting ‘fuck’ faces there.  Faces she’ll probably recog—

“Oh, bite me.  Wait ‘til you see the faces _you_ were making.”  Jensen groaned and the playful sneer slipped off his face.  “Of course she’ll figure it out,” he said, defeated sounding even to himself.  “And when she does I...” He gave his head a shake.  “Fuck, Jay.  I just don’t know.  I don't want to lose her, but...”

Sunset was full upon them now, streaming through the window above the tub.  The dark crimson light seemed doomsday prophetic. Jensen groaned again.  Jesus Christ, how had his life become so impossibly complicated he wondered, for about the hundredth time in the last twenty-four hours.

“Look, you don’t _have_ to do this, Jen,” Jared said.  His mouth was a tight, thin line, but his voice was gentle.  “We could still just have the one—”

Jensen smoothed the furrows out of Jared’s forehead with his thumb.  “Botox,” he said sagely.  

When Jared didn’t even grant him one dimple, Jensen stroked that same thumb down the high ledge of his lover’s cheekbone.  “Whether or not I’m ‘doing this’ is no longer open for debate,” he said.  “I am.  Now we’re just trying to decide how to deal with the fallout.  Got it?” ****

“Got it,” Jared said.  His expression smoothed out into the tender, heart-quickening smile Jensen was becoming so familiar with. “Don’t worry, Jen.”  Jared tilted his face to kiss the palm of Jensen’s hand.  “We’ll figure something out.”  All at once, an illicit gleam flared up in his eyes.  “So are we done talkin’ yet?” he drawled, rotating his hips back and down in one smooth, well-practiced motion.  The tip of Jensen’s dick came to rest against his sphincter.  Started to be pressed inside...  

Dry.  

Well, _wet_ , because they were in the bath – but _lubeless_.  

What the fucking _fuck_?  

Jensen growled. “I thought the last time you had a guy inside you was eleven years ago?” Jealousy had reared its ugly, possessive head, making the question sound way more like an accusation.

Jared just smirked and rotated his hips again .  Jensen popped free.  “The last time I had a guy inside me _was_ eleven years ago,” he said.  “The last time I had a ‘cock’ inside me was two days ago.  See, Genny’s got this strap-on.  It’s not quite as big as you...”  

Jared started to snigger.  Jensen couldn’t even _imagine_ the expression he was wearing, but apparently it was hysterical.  Genny had a strap-on?  And was Jared  maybe handcuffed to the bed while she fucked him with it?  Blindfolded perhaps?    

Aaaand...boom!  Jensen’s head pretty much exploded all over again at the parade of erotic images fighting for dominance in his Jared addled brain.  “Do uhh...do you guys have a _lot_ of toys?” Jensen asked, both mildly distressed and insanely turned on at the idea.  

“Yep.” Jared chuckled, low and dirty.  “We sure do.”  He stood and yanked Jensen up after him. “And we’re gonna use ‘em to fuck you right up, Jen.”  Bath foam – shivering lilac splendor in the deepening gloom – cascaded down their bodies.  Not that either of them needed any more goddamned splendor, thanks.  Jared was already so beautiful it hurt and – if the lustful gleam in his eyes was anything to go by – he found his lover quite ‘pretty’ enough as it was.  “You’re gonna _love_ every minute of it,” Jared promised, swinging Jensen up into his arms a-fucking- _gain_!  

Jensen just rolled his eyes, still distracted by the whole ‘toys’ conversation.  No worries.  Plenty of time to cure Jared of that annoying macho-man habit later.  He’d get started just as soon as he’d pounded Jared’s ass into the mattress and made him scream like a little girl.  

It could wait ‘til then.

    


***

_Jensen’s apartment, three months later..._

They started out in the same position they always assumed while watching TV together.  Jensen with his elbow resting on the sofa’s big rolled arm, his other arm wrapped snug around Dani’s shoulders where she cuddled against him, feet curled underneath her, a bowl of popcorn in her lap.  __

He had a glass of red wine.  She had a lime spritzer.  

He talked about the directions they were given for each scene.  She commented on lighting, mood and story.  

They both complained about how stupid commercials were getting, and laughed anyway. 

Jensen had his nose buried in Dani’s hair, surreptitiously inhaling her familiar scent.  

Vanilla.  Forever more, vanilla would always remind him of her.  

Tears pricked the back of his eyes.  

He loved her so much.  

 

***

 

After editing, the final scene of Supernatural’s season five finale was only six minutes, nineteen seconds long.  By the end of it, Jensen Ackles was sitting alone in his one-bedroom apartment – a thirty-thousand dollar diamond ring clutched in his numb fingers.  He didn’t bother to check the display when the phone rang.  

“Jay...” he husked into the receiver, his voice almost too rough to be understood.

“I’ll be right over.”

Jensen swiped a hand across his swimming eyes.  “No.  I can’t be here right now.  I’ll see you in twenty.”

And you know, he thought he had his shit together.  He did.  By the time Jensen reached the house he was sure he was in complete and total control of himself.  Then Jared opened the front door – his hair a mess, his jeans only half done up.  He didn’t say a word, just held out his arms.  And didn't more stupid tears fall down Jensen’s cheeks.  

Jared pulled him into a hug, squeezing so hard Jensen couldn’t breathe.  “Shhh,” he soothed.  “It’s alright.  I’m here, baby.”

Genevieve nudged the pair further inside the foyer so that they weren’t treating the entire neighbourhood to a show.  She smoothed her hand down Jensen’s nape.  “You okay, Jen?”

Jensen snuffled and nodded, his soggy face pressed tight to Jared's chest.   Genny kissed him, just behind his ear.  “K, then.  I’m off to bed.”

Before midnight?  Since when?  

Jensen tilted his head up and shared a smile with Jared at his wife’s not-so-subtle efforts to give them alone time. 

Jared’s forehead crumpled.  He swiped his thumbs across the salt tracks on Jensen’s cheeks.  “Would it be inappropriate as all fuck if I said ‘good riddance'?” he asked.    

“Yeah, it would, asshole.”  Jensen wound his fingers through Jared’s hair and tugged his head down.  “But since when have _we_ ever stood on propriety?”

Jared was panting by the time Jensen finished plundering his mouth.  “Your bedroom?” he asked, breathless, flushed.

Jensen nodded.  “My bedroom.” He darted away.  Jared cursed and rushed after him.  

Jensen had managed to cure Jared of that unfortunate ‘treating him like a chick’ habit – but now _everything_ between them was a competition.  It was kind of awesome.  

Jensen was laughing by the time he hit the bedroom door.  For such a long-legged beastie, Jared was hella slow.  “Ha!  I wi—”  

With a shout of triumph, Jared barrelled into Jensen, knocking him face-first into the mattress.

Of course, that only made Jensen laugh harder.  “God, I fucking _love_ you, Jay,” he wheezed, rolling onto his back so that Jared could settle between his thighs – which his friend promptly did.

“Yeah, and I _fucking_ love you too,” Jared said.  “You crazy, romantic fool, you.”  Pure adoration shone in his smile – an expression that was perfectly mirrored on Jensen’s own face.  

Man, it was _so_ good to be home. 

END 

 

 

 


End file.
